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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
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Rest are here
Edited - 9.45pm
I realised, no matter how hard I attempt to complicate things, how much I struggle to ease the tensions and overcome martyrdoms -- I can't seem to expunge you out from my life, my soul.
Yes, I've been trying all methods to transgress the reminisces, even to the extent of falling into utmost desperation. I've tried preaching to almost everyone that I've a particular interest in them and also, perhaps, I've already forgotten the kosher meaning of condescension.
Every affair of yours imprints a concrete impact within me. Still, I'm trying. I'll eventually transcend this uphill battle.
I take a walk,
The streets are busy tonight,
And I'm searching for you,
Waiting to brush your shoulder.
When I'm alone,
I watch the faces roll by. Roll, roll, roll right by me.
How many words will go unspoken?
'Til I hear knocking on my door?
I need some talking the nights I spent heartbroken.
But tonight I know,I won't cry no more.
I know, I won't cry cause there is somebody waiting for me, out in the rain.
Not gonna cry tonight, Cause there is somebody waiting for me.
Bonnie Mckee - Somebody
CAN SOMEONE BRING ME TO ESCAPE THEMEPARK? I NEED TO SCREAM! |
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musical carousels  2:39 AM |
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Sunday, November 27, 2005
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| It's fading away and I don't remember a thing
The words we used to say,Seem so insignificant today.
Estranged.
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sweetness stirring within. |
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| musical carousels 11:23 PM |
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Saturday, November 26, 2005
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Oh, and I offically detest green dustbins. |
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| musical carousels 1:21 AM |
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Friday, November 25, 2005
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| Pink's not red or white;
Affections as dull as night.
It could be stygian and bright,
Or perhaps, wrong and right.
Like a sea with raging tides,
Or Serenity that break all ties.
Consternation spark adversities;
Doubts initate uncertainties.
Passel of stars scintillate across eventide's sky;
Amity's flying vastly high.
fidgety and jubilation merging as one --
A mixture resembling scarlet roses and perfervid guns. |
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| musical carousels 1:10 PM |
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005
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| Quite sometime ago,a time so haunting, moonlight in the mist.
When the rain is falling down like silences in a shroud.
when all that really matters left.
when all the feelings became like a still life that was lost.
I was a dying swan, forever trapped in her cries of glory.
Strolling from the shadows, a consternation where sadness grows.
However, things were warped.
all the fear has left me now,I won't trepid anymore.
I have a smile that's stretched from ear to ear.
I fell into the arms on an angel,
Who totally expunged my fears.
Despite having vultures and thieves at my back,
A storm that keeps on twisting.
I'll remain undaunted, for I know, Jp'll always be here. =)
I love you, my very best friend.
-
She has seen the anger and she has seen all the dreams.
She has watched an existance torn apart at the seams
She has provided me shelter and rations for the pouring weather.
Cheryl, I love you.
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I'm blissed, for I've Jp and Cheryl to brave the storms with me. -hugs- |
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| musical carousels 3:26 AM |
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Monday, November 21, 2005
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| I'm feeling rather blithe today. Hence, I shall divagate from my usual posts and withdraw myself from ululation, well at least for now.Tomorrow's undoubtedly my last paper. After which, I'll be able to smell the aroma of fresh rampancy. It also emerged the actuality that time waits for no man.
I can still recall that I was utterly dismayed 2 years back. It was because I couldn't maintain my position in Secondary 4 Express, but look at me now. I've actually kinda completed my Os already. Uh, then again, there's not much distinctness because I'm still a reprobate dunce, haha.
Digressing, I realised that quite a handful of people said that I hold resembles to Jeanette Aw. Don't agree? Let's do a comparison then.
C'mon, admit it (even if you've to prevail in self denial for aeon, I dont care!), we do like rather congruous, right?
Quoting Jp's words, "Since you look like Jeanette Aw, you should have that drop date gorgeous hairdo Jean has in Raindow Connection." Ah yes, Who can omit that afro fuzz cut of Jean's. Okie, for the advantages of those who does not watch the tele, here's a picture of it.  Seriously speaking, I don't think its that awful, you know? As a matter of fact, I personally kinda like this boho-dreadlocks inspired hairstyle.
So, for Jp's (and people like her) viewing pleasure, I've decided to exhibit my not so phat photoshop skills..
TADA! MEI MEI HOR? Alright la, my face doesn't actually blend with the amidst of the picture, but it's the best of my abilities already OKIE! Till then. p/s : My skin's not as formidable as an elephant's. And if you do think otherwise, do comment. (= I'm loving the attention. Heh. |
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| musical carousels 6:35 PM |
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Sunday, November 20, 2005
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You never esteemed this photo, but admit it, we had a rather difficult time snapping it. =)
Pardon my deformity, but I think you look awfully appealing here.
No words needed for this. |
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| musical carousels 9:47 PM |
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Saturday, November 19, 2005
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| The dream;
Incubus or Fantasy?
Vagary or Bliss?
-
I can still recall :
The night forehead kisses.
How my hand will always be above yours when they are locked together ( The upper hand will always be the imperious party =) )
Your shoes are a size 6
You're a size M for Gio polos
You jeans are size 28/30 ( At least that's what cat told me )
You enjoy indulging at NYDC
You simply adore baked rice.
You considered Fish and Co as an appeasing place to dine at.
You fancy Curry Instant Noodles with an egg in it.
You like slurping on clam chowder.
We were supposed to live in a penthouse.
I was supposed to drive a VW beetle, while you ride on your phantom.
You'll support me even if I'm a dunce with limited education.
You dyed your hair blue before.
We almost got caught for our sandalous act.
You purchased a MP3 player from an unknown stranger.
I attended your lecture, once.
We both bought watches for one another during Valentine's day.
We were supposed to go sun tanning every weekend.
We intended to cycle every sunday.
We were supposed to go for a 3 days 2 night cruise.
We made a deal to watch Harry Potter together.
I promised to earn enough money so that you'll be able to respray your bike in JB.
That you paid 150 bucks to top up my hi card when I was away in Europe.
I also got annoyed and jealous because I thought you had a crush on Lucinda.
No wait, I always turn green when you talked to other girls.
The baby blabbers you always gave me.
The first time you held my hand ( We were crossing the road that was infront of the Esplanade. p/s: you were the one who told me so )
We bought a hippo and a cow from raffles place.
Our midnight movies ( which I always ended up dozing off )
Our stay overs at Cat's place.
Our nightwalks at Ang Mo Kio.
When you present me with a Maroon 5 CD.
When you went all out to get for Evanscence's first song disc.
When you bought for me the entire series of Snow Angel from Ang Mo Kio.
Our hotel 81 stays.
When we chased two orange cats.
When I skipped school and met you at my house's bus stop.
When we bought food for a particular black cat at Ang Mo Kio's NTUC but never had the chance to feed it. ( The can's still in my drawer, btw )
When we stole a durian and some mangos.
When you first cried for me.
When I went berserk because of a relapse from Bulimia.
When I always forced you to apologise.
How adorable you were when you did the "flap flap" gesture.
How simliar you look to Xiao Bai.
How you enjoyed watching Batman Forever over at my place.
How we always changed Hamham's wood shavings.
How silly you were when you told me you bought sunflower seeds from school for Hamham.
How upset we were when Hamham ran away.
How heinous your mood got when you met your first accident outside my place. ( Sadly, I was the last to know )
How you always ambushed me with midnight treats.
How you gave me a sunflower, different flavors of lozenges and a scribbled letter when I was down with a sore throat.
When you gave me a Taka Jewellery diamond necklace for my birthday.
When I teased you for wearing sandals with jeans.
When you wore your red long sleeves shirt and black pants ( you looked utterly stunning btw =) )
When we first went clubbing, and you didn't want to dance.
When you ate at golden cafe for the first time after Gotham.
When you sang chinese songs I never once understood.
When you had an obsession over JJ, Lin Jun Jie.
When you kept singing, "I dont wanna know".
When you always embrace me in your arms.
When we studied at Changi Airport ( and fell asleep on the chairs at Macdonalds )
How freezing it was when we took the morning bus rides.
You love chawamushi (spell?) and that I love salmon sashimi.
When you pierced your tongue with Keayern.
You wore a blue long sleeves shirt with jeans and carried a backpack on our first official date ( You melted my heart when I first noticed you crossing the road beside Taka )
You wore a white shirt,jeans and a nike sling bag when we watched a Cinderella Story starring Hilary (You borrowed a book from the libary while waiting for my arrival )
When I first met you and we had a heart to heart conversation at clark quay. (And you said my hair stink cause of my hair spray, lol. )
The regular 1pm meet up on each Sat.
When I first fried for you fish and chips and left them outside your place.
When you had a fetish for snickers.
When we took our first Neoprints with Alicia, Nikk and Nikk's brother.
When we rented VCDs from Video-Ez.
When we first went Serangoon Gardens' coffee bean to study with cat cat ( I still have the video in my previous samsung phone )
Our first kiss at pasir ris's beach. ( We also spotted people fishing and made a hilarious bet )
When I told you the differences between satalites and stars.
How affronted you were when we saw a maid wearing the same blue convese jersey you had.
Your morning smses.
The way you bombed my phone when I didn't reply.
When we watched Chucky's bride on my sister's notebook ( my parents were out of town, remember? )
The way you "slump" during msn conversations.
The adorable expression of yours when you're delighted.
The times when I watched you sleep.
How I failed to abide to my promises. ( But you were never once antsy nor tipped over about it; You're always that forgiving =) )
When you signed up a new m1 line for me.
When we watched The Maid together.
When you still bothered to be chafe at me cause cat stayed over.
When you gave me a precious moments cup which says,"You complete my heart".
When you bought me chicken pie from polar express.
When you brought over your mum's toothsome Bah Kut Teh.
When you went drinking with Cat ( without my knowledge )
When you spoofed silly nonsense.
When you left nine roses, zam bak and a treasured letter outside my place ( It was on the 2nd of Oct 2004)
When your grades got affected ( by me that is )
When you first told me you were jealous.
When you made a heart out of candles and left a bouquet of sunflowers in the middle of it.
When you waited for me after school.
When you were with me to collect my results for the N levels.
When you always present with with all sorts of flowers.
When you tried giving me another surprise on Valentine's day ( this time, I was at school ) but I destroyed it.
When you asked Jia Xin to give me a basket of flowers cause I was down.
When you asked Rachel,Poh Sim and gang to lie to me so you can present me with an abrupt surprise ( Yes, flowers again. But I'll never get sick of 'em (= )
When I scolded you for complaining to me about your bike ( I'm sorry )
When you always kept to your promises.
When you started dishonouring them due to unforeseen quandaries ( And to think I made a big fuss out of nothing )
When you told me you loved me on a particular Sunday night.
When your feelings started to fade.
When I tried to get you back. ( but it was all too late )
When you told me I had to let go.
When you said we're better off as friends.
When I've fallen head over heels for u ( I still am )
When I told you I'm never going to let go.
When you entered my life, 1st oct 2004 =)
When you left...
I never realised you were such a stupendous girlfriend. I never noted how much you did for me.
In fact, you were the very best. I'll wait for my turn to repay you back these saccharine delights, with interest.
This, I promise.
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All along I've been grooming my image.
All along I've been trying to obtain condolements and compassions.
I'm a wench, a whore.
I never deserved anything but karma.
Well done;
You're finally tasting your own medicine, cheryl L. |
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| musical carousels 12:22 PM |
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Friday, November 18, 2005
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| I can ride the tides, cross the deserts, clamber the mountains just to share your story. Shower you glory, and shellac souls for you. I can croon like an angel, songs ever so humble and be gratified. Because songs will fade to silence, Stories, they will cease.The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds. So as I strive to serve you, won't you make it clear to me;
That if I don't have your love, I won't be free. |
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| musical carousels 4:39 PM |
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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
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| musical carousels 10:06 PM |
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| This christmas eve,
- I'll walk down the streets of orchard road.
- Rent The phantom of the Opera Dvd.
- Get a room in Hotel 81.
- Sew a cross stitch.
- Cry.
- And Bawl.
- And Snivel.
All these, by myself. Who am I spoffing when I said, "HAHAHA, I'M OVER YOU!" Sigh. I miss you even more that chocolate banana spilt |
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| musical carousels 9:56 AM |
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
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| The sun will shine again.
Celeste
=) |
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| musical carousels 9:42 PM |
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| Waking up to find you in my tears; Waiting for you to efface my abstruse fears.
It's hard to find something kind; when I'm surrounded by brunet minds.
So, I'll write it down, just in case you need my help;
singing all your words that raise my settled soul.
For now I know the risk was worth it all this while --
Because, I just needed a way to see you, once more.
Somewhere behind your silent eyes there's a story --
I swear that I can help you write the perfect ending
You know that I believe in every part of you, maybe you'll eventually come around(?)
I've tried everything but somehow you found a way to shut me out.
Perhaps next time, maybe you will let me get inside your mind.
All your hidden passions;
All your quiet fashions.
All your blushing beauty;
All your doings to me --
are arousing pangs of malaise.
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When will I fucking know that I'm no longer fucking significant in her life and that I should fucking mind my own business and stop fucking around with everything.
WHEN WILL U FUCKING WAKE UP, CHERYL LIM? |
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| musical carousels 11:00 AM |
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| Young girl, ain't got no chances;
no roots to keep herself strong.
she has shed all pretense;
Anticipating that she'll belong.
Some folks call her a runaway;
Others say she's a failure in a race.
But she's affirmed with her direction --
She'll find her way to the Sun, in her arms;
Right back to where she belonged.
She's flying, backwards.
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Luscious Ryl, ever so pure; Remember to maintain robust and always be strong. =)
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| musical carousels 1:23 AM |
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Monday, November 14, 2005
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Let east meet west, for now. - If you expect someone to love you, you've first got to love yourself. But how am I supposed to? For she's the one who made me realised my utmost values and existances? I live for her, that's that. -Sticks the letter L on my forehead- - 14/11/2005 21:40:30 Anyway, don give up on ya life ya. sigh. Solicitude felt, I think. =)) |
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| musical carousels 1:02 PM |
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Sunday, November 13, 2005
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| It's enervating to go through the same invariable routine each day.
Reminding myself that I've got to wipe on that unrelenting beam and to greet the world with a congenial attitude.
Yes, I should prove the otherwise; Allow her to see the undaunted spirit and that I'm able to move on without her 'disquietude'.
But has anyone bothered to catechize? I'm drained and my heart's panging. I want to be obdurate, unyielding and vigorous but about 98% of me reckons it's opposite.
Death might sound puerile or rather, pusillanimous. Nonetheless, it seems to be the cure to most of my agonies.
I know, this suicidal threat's no longer a virgin. But, each time it comes, the impact amplifies.
So tell me -- 17 stories or an alternative mention? edify me please. |
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| musical carousels 8:06 PM |
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| musical carousels 10:01 AM |
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Saturday, November 12, 2005
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| You clutched my hand and said you'll stay;
The sky was iced with Reflugent stars & moonlight rays.
You kissed me once; it made me thrilled,
then kissed me twice & it was zeal....
Once upon a dream. |
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| musical carousels 11:21 AM |
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Friday, November 11, 2005
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| Somehow I share the same sentiments as Fyn ( Yvonne Lim ) in Tong Xing Yuan. In fact, I realised I do behave like her at times. Like, the abrupt bawlings, the latter laughters and preaches. Alright, that's fucking freaky, acccks.
No anxieties though, the urge to decapitate someone has not been aroused, yet.
Ah yes, I'm beginning to think that smiles are vilipend; Perhaps it's because that gesture has been relinquished, I'm serious. Recall how I used to be a camwhore who snaps like 3948545 blueprints each week and was utterly vainglorious? hah.
I sound like I'm gaining sympathy by inditing such forlorn entries, hor?
Enervated.
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| musical carousels 12:01 PM |
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Thursday, November 10, 2005
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| If I ever write the conte of my life
Don’t be confounded about its elicitation
I’d have to dedicate every line on every page
To the retrospects we once made
I was born the day you kissed me
And I dwindled inside the night you left me
But I'm prevailing;
I’d start with chapter one, love innocent and young....
Even though I know the end, Well I’d do it all again
‘Cause I got a lifetime in, while you loved me |
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| musical carousels 6:57 PM |
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Tuesday, November 08, 2005
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| I'm having this advisory with Racheal now and in some way, it injected some senses into me. Well apparently, Rach and I was having this common topic apropos our exs. The only factor that differs is that she's playing the part of Jack, while I was portraying the image of Jill. Nonetheless, it surfaced the reasons why I behaved like a drama queen during my relationship with Celeste; It was merely because of that speck of attention.
Then again, it revealed to me that I've actually altered my character, till the extent that my reflection's no longer kosher. I've been adhering to abolish that deviant behavior, that I couldn't keep up with the updates. I've lost my pride and have been emitting sparks of desperation. Perhaps, this breakage should actually elucidate the doubts I possessed and allow me to discard the debris formed deep within.
rach - fuck stressheads says:
you know,if you can tell me these,it means whatever ppl said has got into you
rach - fuck stressheads says:
it's just waiting for you to realise it..
rach - fuck stressheads says:
actually i know you know its not worth
rach - fuck stressheads says:
but you just cant let go.
rach - fuck stressheads says:
but dear,you got to.
She conveyed my deepest emotions. Still, I wince whenever I hear her bliss. I know I'm a felon, but a part of me's assured that I'll be able to captivate her better than the current damsel. That's the reason why I never wanted to leave everything as a retrospect.
Perhaps the grass on the other side's greener. But It'll be a while till I'm able to testify it for myself; For the torch for her has not been diminished. |
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| musical carousels 1:53 PM |
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Monday, November 07, 2005
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| I FUCKING MISS CELESTE LOH.
but apparently, it's makes no hoohaa differences cause she's elated with her own life now and I shouldn't care, no I shouldn't.
ANDRO, PL,PASSIVE OR STRAIGHT.
Pick your choice for the future ryl-wannabe.
=( Okie, labels are so over, but wth. |
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| musical carousels 11:58 PM |
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| Okie, I just came home and it's a mere hour away from my papers.
And apparently, I've just witnessed something rather unsightly.
Bittersweet, I'll still get on my feet.
I'll blog again soon. But before I go,
RYL,JP,CIAA,BER,MEL AND DAPHY KOR KOR -- The elements for the awaiting tides.
Anyhow, it's the beginning of her fairytale and the start of a felon being ( that's for my case ).
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| musical carousels 6:55 AM |
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Sunday, November 06, 2005
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| The very first time we caught a movie.
The very first time you held my hand.
The very first time we shared our first kiss.
The very first christmas we've spent.
Do I really have to put all these aside?
I can't leave it all behind; for I know my love for you's not a lie.
Celeste, why must you pulverize it so abruptly? The beatitude of this relationship hasn't reached it's peak.
I can't seem to transgress this boundary. Or rather, this flame of affection has not been extinguished.
I've a million of questions to catechize -- but I know it'll lead me to the same reciprocal answer.
I've never stop this adoration for you, never ever will.
I know this is a mutual issue, so nobody's at fault to began with.
However, I mean my indites, I mean what I've preached.
No matter how long this ride going to be, how many whirlpools I've to decimate, I'll do it. Because as mentioned, I've never loved someone so vastly before.
I know she will do a better job as she's able to provide you with delirium. But, I won't be daunted that easily too. =) I'll strive for the best; for you deserve the utmost amount of coaxing and pampering.
"I'll never be like any of your exs", you once told me so.
Yes, you never will be. Because you managed to surface to me the concrete meaning of true love. I may sound puerile, but whatever you've said has already been imprinted in my mind.
I'll be there at the end of the road -- Then, now and always will be. -hooks tail- |
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| musical carousels 11:35 AM |
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Friday, November 04, 2005
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| I ate three whole bowls of congee but I'm still famished. Channel 5's playing the rise of Hitler now -- I'm starting to quit this piety I've for him. I mean, they didn't eleborate the erecting truths about him in my history text. sheesh.
O starts this Monday. Quoting from Joleen, "Os are easy if you have the standards." Right on. But here's the botheration, I don't even have THE standards. Ahhh, whatever. Just 2 more weeks till this quandary's over.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE 19TH OF DEC. CHINABLACK CHINABLACK CHINABLACK! And here's the scoop, I'm on Cia's VIP list. Yayness. Oh yes, saccharine Ryl'll be going with me as well. - giggles like a blockhead-
I'm starting to indite like a fourteen year old who has bangs and a pink bow glued on her head. I want to blog like Cheryl, but, it'll take me ten years before I can obtain such standards.
I've so many I wants, but they are all empty expectations. Acccks. |
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| musical carousels 1:31 PM |
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| Last Sunday -- the very best.
=( |
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| musical carousels 12:29 AM |
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Thursday, November 03, 2005
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| I'm one fervent bitch who turns green each time she see pictures of couples holding hands.
I hate this amber morning.
I abhor the scarlet sun.
I detest the smell of lavender.
I yearn for sushi, now.
This is so random; Life's apathetic and nonchalent.
My parrot lost an eye -- He's known as One Eye Jack from today onwards.
But I think he wouldn't stay for long. God seems like he wants OEJ all for himself.
Oh shut up, Cheryl. |
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| musical carousels 9:20 AM |
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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
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| Crevasses formed on the rear view mirrors;
The inflicted fissures were indeed major.
Scarlet stains daubed the spiral lane ;
The victim endured an utmost pain.
Bustling at 90 km/hr was the cause of this erecting horror. |
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| musical carousels 2:44 PM |
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