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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Why was it possible for Celeste to initate a break up, even though the white flag was not raised? And why was it possible for her to leave, despite my vehement attempts to hold her back? As the saying goes, it takes both hands to clap, so, why was it possible for her to be with Samantha, notwithstanding my disapproval?

Was it because I loved her more than she loved me?

But I'm affirmed, these random thoughts will never obtain apprehension.
musical carousels 3:37 AM
Friday, December 30, 2005



Rest are here.

Time now's 8.24 AM, but amusingly, I'm not exactly that adapted to Singapore's climate. Somehow, I kind of miss Taiwan's frigid conditions; Or perhaps, it's somehow an external manner to regenerate the pulverized heart within, I don't know. It's baffling trying to relinquish stitched memories. Digressing a little, I realised the percentage to salvage a warped relationship is practically zero. Take Zi Hui as an ample example. She's been forgiving and expunging the faults her girlfriend have commited, yet, at the end of the day, righteousness wasn't prevailed. No wait, maybe something else did, at least I hope so, perhaps she managed to attain insusceptibility. However, so what if she or rather, so what if I'm able to be impervious to impending tides, or say, oncoming relationships? Once bitten, Twice shy. =)

I'm chafed, annoyed, convulsed, whatever. I'm detesting the invisible barrier I've between reality and myself, I'm trying to stay stabilised, attempting to shield myself from anything, everything. In fact, it's quite enervating. Still, somehow, despite knowing the impact these cynisims provide, I'm still practicing it - paradoxical, ain't it? hah.

I once told Zi Hui that fairytales will never last, in fact, frankly speaking, no relationship will surpass the test of time. Commitments will languish, eventually and how can I forget, the most common line which I used to hear from Celeste, promises are meant to be broken.

So enlighten me; Why bother surrending yourself to love, injecting passions into a certain someone, yet, knowing that you'll eventually be forlorn, piled with insecurities, falling back to the anguished side and the most demanding procedure - having to spend an elephantine amount of time hoisting yourself again? I mean, Why do something that's foreseen, why?

Relationships are meant to be fiascos - this shall be my final say, I think.

I sound exactly like a drama queen now.

-

I hope the stress level won't be a factor that's going to warp the jelly I know. =) I'm here, sashimi too. Hugs.
musical carousels 12:56 AM
Sunday, December 25, 2005

Taiwan-ing in another 3 hours and my suitcase's still left unpacked. Whatever, I just can't portray the convivial mood, if you get what I mean.

My mind's filled with an extravagant amount of demands and quandaries. It's perplexing enough to trigger my sanity. Whatever, again.I simple abhor this christmas. The aura of being a condoner shall not be practiced this year.

dlkfsd;flks;dflk;sdlkf

Ok, bye. See y'all in five days time.

ps : Ryl,Jp,Jo,Cia,Zi Hui,Beryl,Glynis and JedD I love u guys. (=

Thank you for the X'mas card. =) But sadly, it's not creative enough. -gives the snobbish expression- Heh. Kiddin'. I love you, jello-o-mello. =)
musical carousels 3:22 AM
Saturday, December 24, 2005

I've been so caught up with work, I'm starting to lose my blogging penchant. Ah whatever, this is going to be an abhorrent christmas anyway. I mean, it's contrasting so sharply against last year's.

Nonetheless, what happened, happened.

Heading to taiwan in say, 29 hours time, I think.

Oh yes, not forgetting, Happy Birthday to you.

Just a whirlpool of sweet nothings
musical carousels 12:24 AM
Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I just threw away an adidas jacket that was meant to be a birthday gift for a particular person.

Hmmmm.
musical carousels 1:24 AM
Tuesday, December 20, 2005



The reason why MSN MESSENGER makes my day.

Anyway, Flick was rather phat!! Cia and gang really did a rather gratifying job with it's preparations. Despite so, a few guy wannabes were spotted, but all in all, my company was stupendous. ♥

Digressing a little, my heart's still pumping expeditiously. Frankly speaking,
Amplified Music equals Abomination.Then again, I think I've unyielding decided to play the role of a desperate housewife. Sheesh.

This entry's as random as the previous ones -- I can't think of anything exhilarating to indite any longer. Yes, my life's that stygian and monotonous.

Alright, more photos here
musical carousels 3:28 AM
Sunday, December 18, 2005

I want my next girlfriend to woo me by purchasing a tiara and tell me that I'm the queen of her heart.

I want, I want, I want.
musical carousels 8:37 PM
Friday, December 16, 2005

I witnessed a couple altercating.

Somehow, a part of me's elated, cause I no longer need to face such shit.
I'm lovin' my life, some how. =) I adore my friends, like Jp and Jo to major bits. I can't wait for the underage gag. I can't wait to party like its my birthday! hah.
musical carousels 12:17 AM
Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Edited : 6.48pm

My mother's a whore, I swear. FUCK IT.
In addition, I want/need to see Beryl, very very much.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

-



BLUEBERRIES!



Looks like vomit uh.



Vomit topped with berries, gulps.



Looking slighty better.



BAKING BAKE BAKE.



The final outcome! =D

-

I'm can't log into MSN for Lucifer's sake and it's getting pretty annoying because I need to talk to Ryl and Jp to the immense core. =(

And I've misplaced 10 fucking dollars. It's not much, but it can be really galling for someone's who is currently on a tight budget, someone like me? Sheesh.

No work today, like FINALLY. Still, it's not exactly a day for placidity nor alleviation cause I still have several errands to see too, accks.

Anyhow, JEDD, I think ( insert you know who's name here ) utterly entrancing - I like, I like, I LIKE! haha. Okie, whatever, I sound like I'm into PL-ing and yes, do go all out for it if you're 100% cleared from doubts and trepidations, alright? =D

Okie, tummy's rambling. I'm going to dig for food, till then.
musical carousels 8:40 AM
Sunday, December 11, 2005

Baked blueberry muffins today. Mummy commented that they were indeed a saccharine treat and YES, they're esculent alright,hah. There's actually a concealed purpose for this abrupt decision, but doubt I'll divulge it though.

Skipped work, again. I swear the tuition centre'll just dismiss me soon. But oh well, at least Karen Millen's getting much more titillating.

My ipod battery has gone berserk and I don't know where I've placed the warranty card, dang.

Santa can't you hear me? I've been so good this year, and all I want's one thing. Tell me my true love's here. That's all I want, just for me, underneath my X'mas tree.. Ahh, whatever. I abhor this approaching festive season.
musical carousels 5:57 PM
Thursday, December 08, 2005

"Happy endings are for stories that aren't finished yet."

How true.
musical carousels 2:09 PM

Flower days have to wait ;
Sunshine through the filtered haze .
It's like the sun that chases the morning moon from the sky,
Things I never feel I have to catechize why.
It's Like the rise and fall;
the ebb and flow of the tide,
Things I never answer why.
I can't even let out a smile;
The tears stream down my face,
for I know I've got to out of this race.


-

Cause when I see your face, I noted your grin.
I reckon I found something there,

that keeps me whole.
musical carousels 3:19 AM
Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Edited : 5.39pm

Dont think abt how sad you made her
you're apologetic for that
she doesnt give a shit

-

Just when I thought things were better, everything took a twist. Nonetheless, I'm thankful for (Ryl, Jp and Sue)'s support. Still, the quandary's still pending, and the approaching verdict will be my current trepidation.

Seventh heaven's scanted by encumbrances; Endurance has reached it's extremity.

On a brighter note, I'm off from work today. :)

Jedd and Jp, Please be nice and give me your usernames and passwords again, I accidently deleted the notepad for it. Many apologises
musical carousels 8:05 AM
Tuesday, December 06, 2005



This silly came to visit me today for my break, now how sweet is that? =) Oh wait, someone's missing. .




THERE. Now CHERYL, please note that you owe us an outing since, -counts toes and fingers- THEN. =) I love you still, u know that.

And an immense amount of cheers to ALICIA, For being the first, and luscious one to visit me on my 1st day of work. (=

And who can forget, Zi Hui and that shortie. :)

I <3 you all to mighty bits, I swear.


Extricated, no, extricating, or at least, I'm attempting too.
musical carousels 12:39 AM
Sunday, December 04, 2005

My thoat's inflamed and my temperature's a burning 39 degrees. I've work later, tomorrow and the day after. I'm off on Wednesday's though, yay. =)

I miss celeste and it's arousing pangs of despondency. It made me swallow an entire chocolate fudge cake last night, despite having the most heinous throat ever. Somehow, I'm yearning that she'll still visit with sunflowers, lozenges and showering an elephantine amount of TLC on me. But fantasies'll remain as that, no point craving for nothing.

I had a conversation with one of the exs last night, and somehow, it brought back reminisces; Not of the ex girlfriend but rather, retrospects of Celeste. Queer, just utterly queer. It's hard trying to brush everything aside and forcing yourself to bid your goodbyes. It's agonizing to know that she's all blithe now. My life's immensely warped now; I'm becoming treacherous and individualistic.

Obnoxious,loathsome, execrable - just these three words to describe the overall situation.

Oh yes, if any of you're going to get affected by my indites, be it 'cause I'm not allowed to express my inner torments or, anything similar. Just a kind reminder, you're not obliged to read my blog. Just scram if you must.

=) A load off my chest, for now. It'll be back to the same rants in time to come. And did i mention? Both my area manager and supervisor are gays, or so I think. Rah.
musical carousels 12:14 PM
Friday, December 02, 2005

Edited: 9:24pm

Second interview was a success. =) Will be starting work tomorrow at Karen Millen. It's located at Wisma, by the way.

Anyhow, I realised that I won't have anyone to spend my birthday with next year. In fact, I came to know that the amount of peers I've is rather apathetic. No one wished me Happy Birthday this year, apart from Celeste that is. Why's my life contrasting so sharply against my initial lifestyle?

Everything's execrable, just everything.

-

















Hi, I'm an ah lian ( ah huay, whatever ) with bangs & I'm not lovin' it, I swear.

















And today, Ah Lian has just gotten married to some gorgeous dyke in white, called Jed. She proposed with a pot of bird nest ferns and a lollipop ring. HOW LOMANTIC IS THAT!






HAH. Who am I kidding.

Anyway, second job interview at 12 pm, wish me luck, or you can set Wing Tai Building and Maxstudio on fire with me. Also, COFFEE CLUB HAS YET TO CALL ME. =(
musical carousels 9:38 AM

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