| I'm feeling quite dejected. Somehow, I feel that my prefect birthday will eventually be warped into something dreadful. I think I'm heavily cursed. I mean, the previous celebration wasn't exactly that delectable as well. If I didn't recall wrongly, I remember Celeste breaking up with me on that particular day, last year.
Then again, it wasn't exactly her fault. Still, I wouldn't say it's something saccharine to elicit about.
Had a huge rukus between the folkers and myself last night. To make matters worse, sheshallnotbenamed was consumed by indiganations - all because I wasn't able to leash my antagonism. Nonetheless, I won't deny that I'm quite disturbed by her reaction. I can't believe I'm actually crying while typing this, perhaps, it's partly because of of the current song that's spinning on my itunes, still, I have to say that I'm a tad bit enervated. No, it's not because she's unable to provide me with any gratifications/complacency. On the contrary, she leaves me feeling amorous, and not forgetting, she's extremely nectareous. Just as Cheryl and Sylvia said, I get high on her.
However, I must admit, no one's prefect. And again, sheshallnotbenamed isn't all that surreal. I detest the way she shift her responsiblities, and the way she eludes from reality. I'm immensely upset with her pretendences and her insensitivity. I'm trying hard to overlook them, and learning to adapt to this intermittent attitude of hers. I'm really trying. But it's utterly tedious. There's a limit to the amount of pacifications that I'm able to provide, really.
The worst has yet to be mentioned. Sheshallnotbenamed isn't even spending my birthday with me. Apparently, she'll be busy working. So much for fulfilling the number one felicitation on the birthday wishlist.
I'm ranting to you, diary, that's because you're the only thing that's willing to listen. My amidst's filled with perplexities and infuriations, my friends are upset, and my current love is ignoring me. The state I'm in's extremely grody. I'm tired from being oh-so-magnanimous. Do you know that my own father don't even know when's my birthday? I'm just so sick of portraying myself as that girl whose world's filled with pink bunnies, rainbows, and shimmers. I want to be pampered and here's a newsflash, THIS DAMSEL REQUIRES SOME ATTENTION.
Tell me, when will it be a day where I'm being adored, for once? Where ecstatic people are able to have a single, serene star gazing session with me, and where bulimia isn't my everything.
I'm getting bitter, very bitter in fact.
Seriously, I envy Clarine for having Issac with her 24/7. Now now, I'm not expecting sheshallnotbenamed to spend such a vast amount of time with me, neither am I conducting an indirect hint. I just yearn for a puny amount of appreiciation, is it too much to ask for?
I had better shut up, before another tumult of misconceptions fall on both, sheshallnotbenamed and myself.
And did i mention? This is going to be one fucked up 18th birthday. |
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11:19 PM
Beatific Ambushcade on Kim Seng Bridge. =)) 
