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Monday, October 30, 2006

I GOT MY LICENSE WITHIN A MERE PERIOD OF TWO FUCKING SHORT MONTHS.

but, things will be so much better If only you aren't angry with me =(
musical carousels 4:14 PM
Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Speechless.

Everything's a mistake, just everything.
musical carousels 1:49 PM
Saturday, October 07, 2006

Abysmal things came pummeling on me today; mutilating what little pride I'm left with.

Seriously, I don't get what's the big tumult against Bulimia? Why is it an addiction which is highly regarded as an appalling issue? The public needs to break that tradition. They have to.

And no, this isn't an entry to publicize my eating disorder. Neither am I trying to obtain a good old prodigious amount of sympathy. I just want my surrounding people to accept what I truly am, for there's no way to discard this wellness that has long been instilled within. People forge own set of gratifications - From smoking all the way to intensive workouts; so why can't this be my perfect relish?

Perhaps, Changes are a good thing, and I should learn to stop focusing on the perceptions people have against me.

I guess this happens when my low self esteem becomes an interference to my path.

"People who dresses well, only use their appearances to mask their deficient in self-reverences."

My eyes are thronged with tears, and its been long since I've been crying over such superficial quandaries. I hate the self comparisons between heartthrobs and my awful appearances. I need to seek a plastic surgery surgeon. Then again, I doubt any amount of plastic surgeries are able to warp the entire mind-set of mine.

I love food, but I hate gaining the extra pounds. To add, personal resistances always get backfired, resulting to that bone of contention.

In short, is it a crime to be pretty? Is there only a specific and righteous formula to practice such vanity? Then again, what's considered acceptable? For what I know certain people, no strike that, Bulimic personages see no wrong in that. It's just a convention we enjoy performing, an escapade worth risking, whatever.

Nobody's perfect; Everyone's flawed in certain aspects. But it seems like the society can never be satisfied, and yes, that includes yours truly.

Fat people have their own type of insults, same goes to pretty and flawless individuals. I guess, we just have to make do with it, but its far more easier said than done. I mean, if I've already mastered that required skill, I wouldn't be feeling so hideous right now.

And haven't you realised, despite having talk shows and motivational speeches, the public still fail to witness the art of imperfection. Here's a perfect example, no offences to Oprah, I love her chunks, but it seems like she's a walking contradiction. There is she telling the world to accept and learn to appericiate issues, yet she's still asking fat people to watch their weights, and learn to reform their corpulent figures. Seriously, if the community is supposed to consent to deformed blemishes, then where is there a need to alter them?

And even if there's a need to correct, why is it a must to use dismaying threats and indignations? I admit, I was wrong to be indignant with Gen's smoking habits, and I shouldn't be expecting much changes from her, when I couldn't even amend my own so called differences.

I'm totally tired from all these "If you love me, you must..." warnings. If that's the case, why can't it be, "If you love me, you should accept what I am."

=(
musical carousels 11:38 AM
Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Love, something that is subtle to its fullest extent.
Commitment, a hasp which twine individuals together.
Reveries, a requisite element for a destined future.
Nonevents, a vitreous felon which invites momentary/permanent separation.

-

11 months ago, I had a consternation for sultry passions.
I reminded myself never to succumb to any forms of endearments.
A philophoic who was once wary of any oncoming fondness.
Yet, a being who couldn't adapt to abrupt changes.
I cried, I bawled, I binged, I purged, I begged, I hated and I lost.
Life then, was a bane; A bane which required an immense amount of will to surpass it.
I was solus and had to shape my own pavement.
As a result, I became the transmuter of an ice queen.

9 months ago, on the 25th of that particular month, I stumbled across my exemplary paragon.
She had a pair of bewitching eyes, an inmitably arched face (with a cute button nose) and a dulcet set of vocals.
Her sterling knowledge was well paired with witticisms.
In addition, we both shared a common similarity; A similarity which sparked trepidation for our mutual/initial attraction.
We resisted, We obstructed, We denied, We impeded, We foiled but we lost.
Life soon became a joviality; A joviality which needed little brawn for further enhancements.
I'm now contented and have constructed a wider path for my sweet confidante.
As a result, I became the princess of Genevieve Seah.






Much love, sayang. =)







p/s : flickr two has been updated.

=)
musical carousels 1:26 PM

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