| "for xue, u seemed to have warmed this cold heart of mine,u seemed to have made me realise that it's worthless to hold on to anything. not even 10 percent. and strangely, u're the first person i did this willingly for. and this alone is sending a paranoia throughout my brain cells.u egged me on, u made me do wad i always thought was unthinkable. and i'd only silently hope and pray that u meant all u said. i hope u left her behind with all ur unhappiness aside too. i hope u stay this way, perfect and flawless in my eyes, i hope u are the one that often appears in my dreams. for wad i see now is the present , the future and from this day on i live my life this way, i will never look back on yesterday."
That, saturated my eyes with tears.
"WHEE. outing with bimbo was absolutely hilarious . left me in a really retardified state. movie sucked ler, left that silly screaming her lungs out and me, giggling over her reactions. imagine smiling at your computer at 2 in the morning or smiling at your ceiling. good thing no one caught me at it, except maybe russell. =)
ok ler, im in a euphoric state now. BASKET. if you're snooping HERE den it's all your darn fault lerh. SEE. WE FELL FLAT ON THE FLOOR RIGHT AT THE TICKETING BOOTH.
TSK.see the price i had to pay for my own mischief. =)
=) =) =) =) =) =)"
And this, just reminded me of the doltish, yet amorous times we spent, together.
Sometimes, such entries never fail to warm one's heart with security and ardent emotions. However, it tends to refresh one's mind, and evokes pangs of conscience. I don't know what made me cry when I read those previous indites. I guess, its been a long time since I've felt such deep-rooted sincerity. See, when a couple's together for a long period of time, they tend to forget several issues, and this issues are often related to the elimination of the condour of one's heart; Quarrels and Disputes tend to scratch off the sparks that actually initiated the beginning of the relationship.
I miss the times when love was at it purest form, when it's fully free from adulteration.
No, I'm not complaining or anything close to that. As a matter of fact, I reckon i've only myself to blame. I'm indignant. Angry with myself for forgetting the jollifications I once had with Gen.
I'm shamed. Abashed with the fact that I'm no longer able to uphold my image Gen once had on me.
Last but not least, I'm disgusted, for allowing the changes to warp the oh-so-perfect-xue she once knew.
=( |
1:52 AM