| This morning, I woke up with the anticipation of receiving a buguiling sms, in exchange for my heartfelt thoughts. However, to my dismay, nothing came in. I reckon that somehow instilled a whole bunch of denseness and it undoubtly, effaced my self-insured significances( to her), which ergo, generated a frigid attitude in my replies.
Nonetheless, what candidly disturbed me most wasn't the fact that I was obtaining nonchalances from her. Instead, I was merely wounded by the truth that her impression of me has totally changed.
To her, I'm now known as the spoilt damsel, who has the tendencies of throwing abrupt tantrums.
I don't know. I guess, I'm just someone who expects too much. And, as mentioned before, expectations are silent killers, who will stain relationships. Yet, a message from K somehow instilled a large quantity of self awareness. She said, "The easiest thing to do, is to not have expectations of her. Cos when she fails to meet them, you're gonna feel disapointed and start throwing tantrums. Try to love without asking questions, if not, don't love at all."
How true. Maybe the once perfect Xue used to be a person who carrys no form of demands.
In conclusion, I abhor what I'm seeing in the mirror right now. Maybe my mum's right, I'm better off dead. I'm just so tired of the changes that are taking place in my life right now. My family finds me unsightly and I guess, all I wanted was to maintain my perfections which gen once beholded. |
8:23 PM