sdssd

2007-01-02T18:35:00.001+08:00

Moved to LJ.

http://jadedlassie.livejournal.com

However, a handful of entries are for friends only.

2007-01-02T18:35:00.000+08:00

Moved to LJ.

http://jadedlassie.livejournal.com

However, a handful of entries are for friends only.

2006-12-28T12:31:00.001+08:00

The sky looks like a collage made of slate - dreary, bleak and murky. Where as the additional rain droplets deputized for my teardrops. Somehow, my blog's clogged with sorrowful entires, and its seems to be progressing at an unceasing pace. Hah.

Now now, where's my pink sprinkled umbrella to shelter me from the prolonged thunder storm?

2006-12-28T01:19:00.001+08:00

TIme now's 1.18 am, and as usual, it's a long way 'til my bedtime. CSI's on channel 5 right now and I'm lovin' the smell that's currently produced by my aroma therapy lamp - The invigorating scene of fresh cranberries.

Handphone has been quiet for the past 13 hours, and clock's still ticking.

I need a job, a job to kill time ~~and to accessorize my macbook~~

This entry's rubbish. I'm just so tired from missing someone, yet, so enraged by her ignoration.

All I merely wanted was something nice. Something to make me feel loved.

I guess thats one difference between tauruses and geminis; Endearments are our daily essentials, where as, arbitrary expressions are tauruses' best friends - no more, no less.

Reckon I'll shift to LJ soon, its so much better to have to ablity to lock most entries, but can only be read by my adored ones.

2006-12-27T20:23:00.000+08:00

This morning, I woke up with the anticipation of receiving a buguiling sms, in exchange for my heartfelt thoughts. However, to my dismay, nothing came in. I reckon that somehow instilled a whole bunch of denseness and it undoubtly, effaced my self-insured significances( to her), which ergo, generated a frigid attitude in my replies.

Nonetheless, what candidly disturbed me most wasn't the fact that I was obtaining nonchalances from her. Instead, I was merely wounded by the truth that her impression of me has totally changed.

To her, I'm now known as the spoilt damsel, who has the tendencies of throwing abrupt tantrums.

I don't know. I guess, I'm just someone who expects too much. And, as mentioned before, expectations are silent killers, who will stain relationships. Yet, a message from K somehow instilled a large quantity of self awareness. She said, "The easiest thing to do, is to not have expectations of her. Cos when she fails to meet them, you're gonna feel disapointed and start throwing tantrums. Try to love without asking questions, if not, don't love at all."

How true. Maybe the once perfect Xue used to be a person who carrys no form of demands.

In conclusion, I abhor what I'm seeing in the mirror right now. Maybe my mum's right, I'm better off dead. I'm just so tired of the changes that are taking place in my life right now. My family finds me unsightly and I guess, all I wanted was to maintain my perfections which gen once beholded.

2006-12-27T01:52:00.000+08:00

"for xue, u seemed to have warmed this cold heart of mine,u seemed to have made me realise that it's worthless to hold on to anything. not even 10 percent. and strangely, u're the first person i did this willingly for. and this alone is sending a paranoia throughout my brain cells.u egged me on, u made me do wad i always thought was unthinkable. and i'd only silently hope and pray that u meant all u said. i hope u left her behind with all ur unhappiness aside too. i hope u stay this way, perfect and flawless in my eyes, i hope u are the one that often appears in my dreams. for wad i see now is the present , the future and from this day on i live my life this way, i will never look back on yesterday."

That, saturated my eyes with tears.

"WHEE. outing with bimbo was absolutely hilarious . left me in a really retardified state. movie sucked ler, left that silly screaming her lungs out and me, giggling over her reactions. imagine smiling at your computer at 2 in the morning or smiling at your ceiling. good thing no one caught me at it, except maybe russell. =)
ok ler, im in a euphoric state now. BASKET. if you're snooping HERE den it's all your darn fault lerh. SEE. WE FELL FLAT ON THE FLOOR RIGHT AT THE TICKETING BOOTH.
TSK.see the price i had to pay for my own mischief. =)
=) =) =) =) =) =)"

And this, just reminded me of the doltish, yet amorous times we spent, together.

Sometimes, such entries never fail to warm one's heart with security and ardent emotions. However, it tends to refresh one's mind, and evokes pangs of conscience. I don't know what made me cry when I read those previous indites. I guess, its been a long time since I've felt such deep-rooted sincerity. See, when a couple's together for a long period of time, they tend to forget several issues, and this issues are often related to the elimination of the condour of one's heart; Quarrels and Disputes tend to scratch off the sparks that actually initiated the beginning of the relationship.

I miss the times when love was at it purest form, when it's fully free from adulteration.

No, I'm not complaining or anything close to that. As a matter of fact, I reckon i've only myself to blame. I'm indignant. Angry with myself for forgetting the jollifications I once had with Gen.

I'm shamed. Abashed with the fact that I'm no longer able to uphold my image Gen once had on me.

Last but not least, I'm disgusted, for allowing the changes to warp the oh-so-perfect-xue she once knew.

=(

2006-12-26T11:47:00.000+08:00

I've been reading quite a few blogs for the past hour, and I must say that I'm glad to see my friends, and surprisingly, foes being so rapturous this x'mas.

Well, all apart from Lio.

Sometimes, I can't help wondering why this particular best friend of mine's always getting herself entangled in such deep, pensive and everlasting despondency. It pangs seeing her attempting to embrace herself, despite the approaching throbs she's getting from Nic Chua.

Alright, maybe I'm not fully aware about the hows and whys that's happening inbetween Lio's relationship with Nic. Nonetheless, as mentioned last christmas, you can't expect me to sit down here and just be a mere spectator? Lio's my best friend, and I hope she will deserve the utmost respect, and not be pushed away like some ailing bitch?

Nic, it's self reflection time.

2006-12-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

My whole body's aching from the bad fall, and I'm no fuckin' kidding.
I've again, had a tearful x'mas evening.

And so much for regular comments to every blog entries.
Promises are facades.
So much for a jovial x'mas

2006-12-25T15:42:00.000+08:00

X'mas 's simply the best when its spent with your prized possessions.
Garfield, Wen,Mindy,Xiangling, Much love =)

Next up, it's camping time for the new year's eve y'all !!

2006-12-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

Days with the Garfield has never been so phat. I ♥ you baby, more than anything in the world ( Well, maybe not as much as the ikea biscuits! hehe. )

2006-12-18T22:47:00.000+08:00

I'm getting overly paranoic about the expansion in my weight. =(

Digressing, these days have been extremely pristine. Why so? Well, let's just say that Garfield has found a new accommodation for herself. =)

Am finally done with my 3k words graduation essay and boy oh boy, I'm finally feeling utterly relief. Seems like that additional pressure has finally been released! Yay.

Realised that time's passing real quickly. Baby and I will be a year old on the 25th, next year. However, it seems like those Karen Millen days were just yesterday, right garfield?

Christmas's approaching, yet it looks like the agenda's not being planned yet. How dismaying.

In addition, my two best friends decided to leave me all alone for the next few days. Rah.

I'm going to drown myself in food, indulge in mcfly and my chemical romance and just rot my way till its time for the new year celebration.

ps : Garfield's happily in dreamland right now, leaving me all forsaken and abandoned. ROARS.

2006-12-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

notice how Im blogging so much these days?

It's indeed a subtle invitation for cajoling tags.

But I doubt I'm having any from now on.

Daddy asked, "Isn't $_#)$)_$ enough already?" , and that made me dumbfounded.

I guess no amount of pines and tears will help this time. I feel stupid.

Stupid for even attempting to call.

2006-12-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, walking in the rain helps clear one's quandaries and transient injuries.
I realised that there's something hysterical about myself, something that its undeniable perturbing.
Truth is, I'm always indulging far too much into a relationship. And no matter how much I drown myself in placidity, it'll never seem to take any effect on me.

Maybe, I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall twice, again? But how can it be done when I've already fallen six feet under?

Cheryl, haven't you went through this before? When will you ever learn? Haven't you heard, once bitten, twice shy?

Obsession's sucha deadly thing.
Now, how do you start getting out from it?

Where's my fucking backbone.

I don't know ,my whole mind's just filled with paradoxes. You've no idea how hard's it for me to acknowledge the fact that our differences are too drastically different. Yes, I'm living in rebuttal and my puerile actions are gruesome.

Alright, you've just called , and I'm amazed that I've the ability to be so composed and to conceal my weepings. I'm as tired as you are, but there's still something that's pinning me down, preventing my departure. Honestly, I wish I can be so nonchalant like you. Perhaps, its because your feelings aren't as intensed as mine, or maybe, you've already became a part of me? I'm perplexed, clueless, baffled...

Then again, if it wasn't because of my tantrums, you wouldn't have flared up. However, like I've said, things feel queer withour you around.

Congrats Gen. You've successfully turned me into an insane girlfriend, who has no whatsoever control over my emotions. I'm a freak, a freak who can't even identify my own behavior.

Seriously, I've no idea where am I supposed to go from here? Would it really be better if I just cease all movements? How do you handle such situations, when your head's telling you to stop, but your heart's telling you the total opposite?

Differences can be compromised, or at least that was what I used to rely on.

I hate myself so much, and I guess self infliction's always the best option to resolve all bitterness.
Now, I feel like che.
Oh well, Cheryl Lim, Welcome to the black parade.

2006-12-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

I hate anticipating for ah bee to end her shift at bombers. =(
If this's going to last for the next 3 months. I rather not go Thailand anymore!!!

2006-12-13T20:12:00.000+08:00

I KNOW I HAVE TO SAVE UP FOR MY THAILAND TRIP WITH AH BEE.

BUT, THE BROWN/ORANGE CAP FROM ADIDAS' LOVE.

=(

MONEY MONEY, WHY MUST YOU BE SO FUNNY.

2006-12-13T10:28:00.000+08:00

This morning, the sun was glaring out from the azure sky and, fleecy bleached clouds held semblances to sacharrine coneys and luscious sparrows. I know, that overly aggrandized description might sound like a total facade. But trust me, life can be filled with pink does and rainbows when you finally wake up from the right side of the bed.

Perhaps, just perhaps, its time for me to take a breather, and start making the best out of my possessions. After all, its pretty pointless to harp on fables and skepticisms. Why not twist "The grass's greener on the other side" to "My grass will be greener than the other side" ? =)

Forgetting and Forgiving are actually the most prefect gifts for this coming christmas. Excessive aborminaton will only lead to self infliction. Anyone who ditto that, say I.

~~Then again, who am I kidding man!~~

Rehearsal's on later @ MDIS. Clarine oh Clarine, why didcha agree to do the minister thingy! =S

2006-12-12T00:38:00.000+08:00

Preeminent paramour aka my beloved garfield,

I promise to leash your jealousy, by showering you with elephantine endearments.
I'll ensure that you'll be equiped with a sufficient amount of sangfroids, to help brave any sudden storms.
To add, no amount of hearsays will be able to sway your idiosyncratic judgments.

I ♥ you , with extra caramel sauce and saccharin.

2006-12-11T14:57:00.000+08:00

Maybe you're just tired with everything about me.
Perhaps, u need a new form of refreshment?

Oh man. I'm such an attention seeker.

2006-12-11T12:01:00.000+08:00

Today, I stained my sheets with tears. I've been weeping so easily these few months, it's pretty apathetic and unvarying. At times, I tend to question myself why am I so overly obsessed with a particular person. Its so copious; copious enough to affect my daily routine. No, strike that. This neurosis has already replaced my once-daily essentials.

However, its frightening. Trepidatious enough to know that the love of my life isn't giving me any reciprocal gestures. And, no matter how hard I try to vie for her awareness, it'll appreciated, wrongly that is.

Then again, such thoughts and fears will eventually fade away, though only for a temporary period.

Great. Just great. I've been anticipating for her reply since the past 68 minutes... and still counting.

I'm starting to allow my thoughts to run wild, and it isn't casting any positive outcomes. I'm just so scared that such things will unknowingly, hit the rewind button.

I realised that I used to be able to efface such personal indignations through dancing or via indulging in those binging sessions of mine. Yet, it seems like I'm facing a dead end. Everything has to be stuffed within, and there's absolutely no way to purge out these injuries.

Funny isn't it? How abrupt word vomit's insensitivity's best friend.

Nonetheless,I guess the only things I want for christmas are constant devotions from you, and perhaps, assurances to expunge all aversions.

How can I even have a life without your physical appearances?
Isn't it obvious enough? I don't need another someone, cause no one will/can be my preeminent paramour?

2006-12-08T12:06:00.000+08:00

the encored version of "GONG", once again, managed to instigate lachrymosity within.
I WANT TO BE A PRINCESS TOO! #$)(#@($

2006-12-07T20:47:00.000+08:00

Being with Gen spells FATTY BOM BOM. =(

My weight increased from a 43, to a fucking 46.7 !?

BABY, I HATE YOU!!!! beat beat beat beat beat!

( I feel like eating hi-chew now, yum yum!) -rubs tummy-

2006-12-05T00:11:00.000+08:00

X'tina's hurt's currently spinning on my itunes. Great. This definitely help unleash the suppressed emotions. These few days have been increasingly onerous - its starting to injure my atman. Quarrels with endeared ones have also indubitably, played an immense role to this personal laceration.

Sometimes, its so difficult to gain one's understanding; Everyone seems to hold their own opinons and sets of judgements. As a matter of fact, my amidst's filled with paradoxes and deceptions. Words and truths can just be bend within a mere minute, and accusations can be easily weaved, even without any congent evaluations.

I'm tired. Tired with the fact that I'm penniless, FAT, a shopaholic, unloved ( by the family ), hated, ghastly.. and the list goes on. Seems like i'm the invitation for a macabre series of tragedies. Yet, it feels like invisiblity has wrapped itself around my physical appearances. How ironic.

There's so much piques enclosed within me, and it seriously needs to be released.

Plently of arguements,subtle insecurities and obscure tantrums are starting to act as veiled palisades; which are stealthily ruining my relationship with Gen.

Sometimes, I feel pathetic and useless.

If only anyone know how much I hate indulging myself in self commiserations.
If only Gen really know shes my ~~impish~~ gaiety.

This x'mas not going to be pleasant, I just know it. I'm too broke to even purchase the finest stuff for the baby. Funny, ain't it? I've semi wealthy parents, who are fucking selfish to part with a tiny bit of their wealth!? No, I'm not boasting or anything inclined to that. I just abhor the fact that my mum's a complete skinflint.

Someone, anyone, please bring me for a couple of shots, drinks, anything to do with alcohol please?
And perhaps, for the first time, I'll allow a pinch of raw nicotine to run through my veins(?)

2006-12-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

ps: It's running amok, not runnning amok.

Click on images for a bigger view.

I'm burnt! =( I swear I hate the sun, and I hate getting tanned. ROARS.
Christmas's coming, and i'm having qualms about getting the gifts.

Digressing, MICHELLE TAN HUI WEN, I'M FUCKING PISSED OFF WITH YOU! HLF'S UTTERLY INDIGNANT AS WELL, or so I presumed. If you're ever going to do that again, I'm swear I'll just fly over to Macau, and chop you into pieces.

2006-12-01T02:09:00.000+08:00

ATA WAS PREFECT!

2006-11-30T01:13:00.000+08:00

AHHH, I can't get to sleep and I can't wait to get started on my new template. The idea seems so refreshing, and out of the box!!! Okie, I'll start working on it, that's if the template mojo's still intact after tomorrow.

To add, I've just received good news from my ma; My license's not facing any forms of revocation after all! Xue's one jocular kid right now.

I want a name change. Something that must be ultimately exotic.

Cases of Exs can be such a blight sometimes.
Please don't get me wrong; the fault doesn't lies with the ex girlfriends, but rather, relys on the inferiority one possesses.
How, How, How? I hate being pinned down by my own form of inhibitions.

Body's starting to ache really badly. It doesn't help with the fact that I'm running out of painkillers (which aren't any bit effective)
Throat's throbbing terribly, and my kaput immune system's doesn't ease the tension.
Appetite hasn't been that ajar as well.
=(

I'm one sick kid who isn't feeling loved.

2006-11-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

My creativity finally came back from its very long vacation.

New blog skin'll be done soon, once the bloody ATA's over!

-

Wrote this during work today. Know its rather queer sounding but, what the heck.
(No, I did not use any help from Dictionary.com )

Feelings rambled riotously;
She's the addiction which dilated so vastly.

-

Certain lights can never suppress the darkness;
Several inveiglements will trigger nefariousness.
Dependences evoke eventual horridness;
Expectations initiate dispiritedness.
Promises instigate incredulousness;
Demands root disturbances.
Insensitivity births fearfulness;
Pride dawns misplacements.

-

Paradoxes of the author's heart.
Tell her, where's she supposed to go from here?

Emo days are the best days for a lengthy entry.

2006-11-29T07:50:00.000+08:00

This morning, I woke up with sepia sacks under my eyes. There's alot to say, but I seriously don't know how to jot down these quandaries.

Sometimes, short lasting reveries can act as a divine,odious jolt.
Things will always look good on the surface, but, ultimately, what truly matters most is what that lies deep within.
Lies can be easily coated with a single luscious cover of gratification, evoking all vacillations and dubiousness.
Yet, when all's revealed, equanimity will never hold serenity's hand, to expunge one's panging paranoia.

Nonetheless, it's times like this that place one's true strength to the test, and inject some independences into one's frail, or rather, fragmented backbone.

The only person that I wish to really pour my heart to's Ryl.
It seems like she can truly apprehend these desolations, to their fullest extents.

Still, thanks all, you know who you are, for being my single pair of crutches. What'll I do without y'all ?

ps : Asian Television Awards' on this thursday, friends or fans of these following celebs, you're invited for their red carpet premieres!!!

-Pat Mok
-Zoe Tay
-Julian Hee
-Tay Ping Hui ( HOT HOT HOT!)
-RIVERMAYA
-Ericia Lee
-Edmund Chen
-Pierre Png & Andrea
etc..

pps : I splurged a whopping 200 buckaroos last night. Bloody Asian Tele Awards, and to hell with internal indignations. Nevertheless, Retail therapy will always be the perfect remedy!

ppps: I totally regret purchasing my 450 buckaroos wallet from karen millen ( winks at Clarine), it's tarnishing like fuck and the leather's starting to smell funny. GOODNESS! Its time to scout for a sugar daddy!!!

OHH FUCK. I'M LATE FOR WORK!

2006-11-28T22:16:00.000+08:00

Betrayal never felt so bitter.

Empty words and a pompous attitude.

I hate you, I really do.

2006-11-28T02:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I think I fail to notice my surroundings.

I tend to forget my endearing friends who were always there for me, no matter how awful situations can get.

Wen,Lio,Clarine(God, I owe this woman my entire life please),Kay,Sally,Ja,Raine,SH.

Maybe, these will be the people that appreciate all my deepest flaws.

Flaws that will never be appreciated by her.

2006-11-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

Everything just feels queer without you around.

Just everything.

Lio: I needa talk to you very soon, 38!
Wen : Everything's gng to be fine. I know, Trust me okie ?

2006-11-26T19:39:00.000+08:00

I feel like crying right now. I just fucking got into a major accident last week, and I'm suffering from a panging headache, intense numbness and an extremely stiff neck.

Then again, those physical injuries aren't as painful as the fact that my license is going to get revoked (I presumed so, though it's not a police case, yet). Yes, my highly endeared license that's only a month old is fucking at stake!!! =(

So, fellow readers, or anyone who has a clue or the potential to predict the future, please analyse this bloody picture for me, and tell me what to do?

ps: I'm lazy to explain the details.

2006-11-21T00:50:00.000+08:00

I'm glad that I'm able to do something for you =)

See baby, having a vroom vroom can make things so much easier for the both of us.
I love you, orange cat.

2006-11-19T13:22:00.000+08:00

My Gorgeous Handphone! =D

The fruits of my labour =) - My Roomie!

Family outing - The big baby and puny babbies.

2006-11-16T01:26:00.000+08:00

I can't believe this is coming from me, but OMG. THEY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE LA!?
Joo Ji Hoon simply reminds me of baby. Beams.
OMGSXZXSX. PRinCeSs HoURs RoxXs maNZx.

LOL. Lio, you see la. All your fault!

2006-11-15T02:29:00.000+08:00

Time now is two twenty two am, and I can't get to sleep. Tui Hou's currently playing on my itunes, and it reminded me of you singing it to me.

I don't know why do you always have to be so insensitive. Why do you even bother saying that you've removed that stupid shield of yours, when you jolly well know that its no where near your proclaimed removal. I wish to get closer to you, share your insecurities, understand your confusions...

Seriously, is it that hard for you to be totally honest about your emotions? Its so difficult trying to predict your every moves. Your anger seems to be getting so heinous, it frightens me. I detest crying buckets, but it seems that we're destinated to be apart for a few hours after each quarrel. Still, perhaps, these hours mean nothing to you, but it does to me. No, it means alot to me. Must you always be so self-centered? Can't you just place yourself in my shoes, even just for a single second?

I love you, I really do.

As the saying goes, people learn from their past experiences. So, why can't you see I'm trying to prevent any misfortunes from obstructing our path? You're my perfect lover, and I don't want to lose you, because, it seems like you're the only one who is willing to binge on jap food on a daily basis, the only one who sends chills down my spine when you use endearing terms on me, the only one listens to my whines, the only one who appreciate my flaws, the only one who took care of me when I was sick, the only one who has the ability to initiate my smiles, the only who is able to melt my heart with your dulcet vocals, the only one who heals my forgetfulness, the only one who I'm willing to propose to and the only one who I really want to spend my life with.

Can't you see all that?

2006-11-11T00:56:00.000+08:00

MY OFFICIAL LICENSE FINALLY CAME! =D

ps : I realised that I'm starting to abhor public transport really badly.
pp/s: Daddy's going get me a car soon! I'm thinking either Subaru R2, Kia Picanto or a Nissan March! Small cars are <3
ppp/s : I have no idea why I'm blogging like this, but I'm getting my long awaited 7373 this tuesday! ( Which makes me the only person in Singapore to have it, since its not being launched over here yet. )
pppp/s : Baby's so fucking sweet today! She didn't lose her temper at me, despite the fact that I was preaching at her throughout the entire driving trip!!! I LOVE YOU BABY!
ppppp/s : Did I mention that I love Genevieve Seah TO IMMENSE BITS!?

Lastly, Parking fees and petrol are so fucking expensive! =(

2006-11-07T00:12:00.000+08:00

We'll be rubbing our skins against the satiny sand, exchanging sensual moves all day round, right baby!?

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU and I LOVE YOU! =)
These 9 months and 13 days have never been so enchanting! Never ever.

p/s : PLEASE GET WELL SOON. AND I HOPE MY SPECIAL DELIVERY IS YOUR MAIN REMEDY.

muchie smoochies.

2006-10-30T16:14:00.000+08:00

I GOT MY LICENSE WITHIN A MERE PERIOD OF TWO FUCKING SHORT MONTHS.

but, things will be so much better If only you aren't angry with me =(

2006-10-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

Speechless.

Everything's a mistake, just everything.

2006-10-07T11:38:00.000+08:00

Abysmal things came pummeling on me today; mutilating what little pride I'm left with.

Seriously, I don't get what's the big tumult against Bulimia? Why is it an addiction which is highly regarded as an appalling issue? The public needs to break that tradition. They have to.

And no, this isn't an entry to publicize my eating disorder. Neither am I trying to obtain a good old prodigious amount of sympathy. I just want my surrounding people to accept what I truly am, for there's no way to discard this wellness that has long been instilled within. People forge own set of gratifications - From smoking all the way to intensive workouts; so why can't this be my perfect relish?

Perhaps, Changes are a good thing, and I should learn to stop focusing on the perceptions people have against me.

I guess this happens when my low self esteem becomes an interference to my path.

"People who dresses well, only use their appearances to mask their deficient in self-reverences."

My eyes are thronged with tears, and its been long since I've been crying over such superficial quandaries. I hate the self comparisons between heartthrobs and my awful appearances. I need to seek a plastic surgery surgeon. Then again, I doubt any amount of plastic surgeries are able to warp the entire mind-set of mine.

I love food, but I hate gaining the extra pounds. To add, personal resistances always get backfired, resulting to that bone of contention.

In short, is it a crime to be pretty? Is there only a specific and righteous formula to practice such vanity? Then again, what's considered acceptable? For what I know certain people, no strike that, Bulimic personages see no wrong in that. It's just a convention we enjoy performing, an escapade worth risking, whatever.

Nobody's perfect; Everyone's flawed in certain aspects. But it seems like the society can never be satisfied, and yes, that includes yours truly.

Fat people have their own type of insults, same goes to pretty and flawless individuals. I guess, we just have to make do with it, but its far more easier said than done. I mean, if I've already mastered that required skill, I wouldn't be feeling so hideous right now.

And haven't you realised, despite having talk shows and motivational speeches, the public still fail to witness the art of imperfection. Here's a perfect example, no offences to Oprah, I love her chunks, but it seems like she's a walking contradiction. There is she telling the world to accept and learn to appericiate issues, yet she's still asking fat people to watch their weights, and learn to reform their corpulent figures. Seriously, if the community is supposed to consent to deformed blemishes, then where is there a need to alter them?

And even if there's a need to correct, why is it a must to use dismaying threats and indignations? I admit, I was wrong to be indignant with Gen's smoking habits, and I shouldn't be expecting much changes from her, when I couldn't even amend my own so called differences.

I'm totally tired from all these "If you love me, you must..." warnings. If that's the case, why can't it be, "If you love me, you should accept what I am."

=(

2006-10-04T13:26:00.000+08:00

Love, something that is subtle to its fullest extent.
Commitment, a hasp which twine individuals together.
Reveries, a requisite element for a destined future.
Nonevents, a vitreous felon which invites momentary/permanent separation.

-

11 months ago, I had a consternation for sultry passions.
I reminded myself never to succumb to any forms of endearments.
A philophoic who was once wary of any oncoming fondness.
Yet, a being who couldn't adapt to abrupt changes.
I cried, I bawled, I binged, I purged, I begged, I hated and I lost.
Life then, was a bane; A bane which required an immense amount of will to surpass it.
I was solus and had to shape my own pavement.
As a result, I became the transmuter of an ice queen.

9 months ago, on the 25th of that particular month, I stumbled across my exemplary paragon.
She had a pair of bewitching eyes, an inmitably arched face (with a cute button nose) and a dulcet set of vocals.
Her sterling knowledge was well paired with witticisms.
In addition, we both shared a common similarity; A similarity which sparked trepidation for our mutual/initial attraction.
We resisted, We obstructed, We denied, We impeded, We foiled but we lost.
Life soon became a joviality; A joviality which needed little brawn for further enhancements.
I'm now contented and have constructed a wider path for my sweet confidante.
As a result, I became the princess of Genevieve Seah.

Much love, sayang. =)

p/s : flickr two has been updated.

=)

2006-09-26T12:19:00.000+08:00

Gen's tag in the previous post aroused a colossal amount of laughters; Doesn't she sounds totally adorable when she's being Garfield ? Alright, I'm kinda digressing. Nonetheless, as my memory served, Garfield Seah always insist that I'm treating her as my personal ~~slave~~ assistant. However, it seems like I'll always end up toting my own bag, despite having a slew of insouicant "bellhop" offers from the fat and orange cat. In addition, she keeps harping that I'm mistreating her, notwithstanding the fact of presenting her ~~abysmal~~ "blue-ribbon" services. Now now, tell me who is the actual victim of injustices?

p/s : I feel like a very well adored/protected princess. 3 cheers for that. =D

Assignments' due dates are approaching, and I've not even started on any one of the four projects. Oh lord.

2006-09-24T00:49:00.000+08:00

Disappointment coiled its veins around me - injecting a prodigious amount of vedomousness into every inch of my skin. Great. I can't believe I have, again, underestimated the pentration of ungatory indites.

"HER" in her entry somehow aroused a whole lot cynical notions.

The past few days have been really obstreperous; Leery hearsays, your fair degree of barbed gesticulation and that accidental neglection.

I'm trying to close an eye with regard to those panging moments.Yet, it seems like my efforts were expunged upon reading that particular entry.

I'm scared and scarred, though time has imbued a sufficient amount of immunity within.

-

I lost the rings. I fucking misplaced them and i cant find them anywhere. Fuck, im getting hysterical.

2006-09-23T09:59:00.000+08:00

See what happens when vanity launches an attack on you?

Life has been pretty grisly lately. It seems like I've just been hit by a whirlpool of detrimental aura. =(

To make matters worst, I'm having a huge pimple outbreak, my boss keeps insisting that I produce my-never-once-existed MC, I'm uncertain whether I got through my Suzuki Print Ad auditions ( It's paying me another 1k!!! ) and lastly, I'm totally zonked out from working, and Clarine hasn't even started working yet!

On a lighter note, my MacBook has finally arrived! YAY.

ps : Anyone's willing to lend me ADOBE PHOTOSHOP for Mac? Or anyone's willing to tell me where to purchase the pirated version?

I'm so not going to pay 200 buckaroos for the entire prog. Yes yes, I'm a cheapo can ?

pps : Thi is very random but Lio and Wen, I love you guys.

2006-09-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

Huiwen once told me that people don't mean whatever they say when they are indignant. Still, why am I able to perform the otherwise? What does it means when a person constantly regards you as her personal torment?

Words are cheap. Or rather, affectionate indites are superficial.

I realised that I'm such a cry baby. I cry whenever harshness is being implemented. I cry when paranoia pounces on my back. I cry for anything or everything that concerns her.

Honestly, I miss the times when I couldn't care less about my commitments. At least, I wouldn't be that vulnerable and shameless. Then again, what's the point of having a concealed commitment when the person you've committed yourself to doesn't think likewise.Maybe I should be Philophobia's newest victim. At least I'll be spared from further pangs of veiled lunacy.

-

Terms of agreement.(ME)

1. we'll keep to seeing each other only once a week.
2. No PMS-ing
3.no getting grouchy
4.no bingeing
5.no purging.(or at least tell me when u're at it)
6.no mentioning of CL during our weekly meet ups. (it pisses me off sometimes, just SOMETIMES,maybe all the time)
7.FLIRT ALL U WANT WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE ( and the other party better be absolutely gorgeous n have a more fucked up face than i do )
8.tell me u miss me.
9.give me a tight squeeze when i'm frowning.
10.remember i have the key to your locket,
11.and that i'm wearing your ring on my left hand, e fourth finger.
12.i accepted the rice cake and you're all mine now.( no further bargains, the geisha's taken)
13.you keep meow-ing, it turns me on =)))
14.be nicer, more endearing, im a sucker.
15. remember to abide to all of the above and i'll be yours to ditch =)

terms of agreement by MEI NU!!!
1. Flirt all you wish, but, make sure the girl's no where hotter than me.
2. Stop showing your stupid pompous fuck face, it sends the wrong type of perceptions.
3. Wear your specs more often; it makes you look really alluring.
4. Make sure you supply me with your daily dosage of smses. It drives me nuts when you decide to switch on the ignoration mood of yours.
5. Stop charming me with that pair of sickening eyeballs.
6. I love it when you're being utterly silly, so continue portraying yourself in that manner.
7. MORE HUGS NEEDED. =) They are my source of security
8. Stop smoking, without losing your temper at me.
9. You can't leave me cause you accept the ring I gave you!
10. In other words, Only I'm obliged to ditch you! Bleah

Realised how twisted promises get when disputes come in between?

-

Was flipping through the pages of Memoirs of a Geisha, and I happened to chance upon a few endearing words which both of us once said to each other, six months ago that is. Thus, making me notice how time changes one's behavior.

I guess it's not really a good thing when you get to the core of one's true blue behavior. Now now, don't get me wrong, I'm not having any second thoughts or anything for that matter. I just feel like turning the hands of time and perhaps, start experiencing the purity of simple crushes with the very same person again.

2006-09-16T03:02:00.000+08:00

I tend to get all emo in the midst of every freaking morning, and it doesn't help when I decided to display some meddlesomeness by reading incomprehensibleme.

It seems like everyone will go through a stage when their hearts will be ruptured; when old flames can never be renewed, despite being in denial that he/she will return someday.

I miss the times when I solely sat at changi airport's viewing gallery. Guess that was the only time I managed to savor the true meaning of serenity.

I haven't been able to have a proper star gazing session within the past few months. Or rather, I haven't had the time to do such meaningful stuff anymore. My amidst's filled with strenuosity - it's getting much harder to breathe. Driving, modeling events, assignments and work have been consuming so much time and energy.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm working for my own personal benefits, or for my mum. She seems to be boasting to everyone about my participation for a particular moto show that's paying me 1k for it. Yet, it seems like the only thing she's able to brag about.

I don't even see her being that excited when I told her I passed my advance.

I can't believe it, but I've finally reached the point where I just want to be pampered and not lay a finger on any financial matters. I mean, I enjoy splurging, but the process of obtaining the float's annoying. In short, I'm tired of maintaining my independence.

I don't even mind extracting my backbone for utmost luxury and pure dotingness.

-

Hila : Yup. Studied the entire book. The questions aren't hard, so long as you're able to predict the outcomes for assorted roadblocks and such.

Passerby : Got the swimsuit from Dorothy Perkins.

2006-09-14T13:46:00.000+08:00

Passed my Advance theory, on my first attempt. =D

I can finally say I'm not that stupid after all.

2006-09-13T07:39:00.000+08:00

It's 0730 right now, and I'm all geared up for my advance theory, e-trial test that is. This is actually quite amusing. I mean, I haven't been that studious ever since I passed my Basic. See, this is why turning 18's an impeccable thing. You will somehow receive an invisible wake up call, and your life will miraculously twist itself away from the dark side. Speaking of dark side, it reminds me of Star Wars, which in turn, made me bethink of Che's photoshopped black mask picture. Accks, witness the wonders of Mind-mapping yet?

Okie I gotta run. Will update in 2 hours time.

2006-09-12T13:03:00.000+08:00

My life has been coated with assiduousness, and it is getting rather perturbing. I don't even have ample time to update this blog.

-

Frog Congee, personally delivered by baby. =D See the advantages you get when you're sick? So Flu, Fever and Sore throat bugs, don't go so soon. =)

Guess who has the matching pair? =DDD

-

Cable Car time, YAY.

Will upload the videos soon. I'm too lazy/fatigued to do anything these days. ROAR.

2006-09-05T01:54:00.000+08:00

More photos @ Flickr2

You're the Ultimate.

2006-09-04T02:11:00.001+08:00

A single Lily means sorry for making you cry.

"You know what I like about us? I like the fact that we get over quarrels so quickly."

And I ditto that.

Thank you for bestowing such endearments on me.

p/s : Baby, you're such a mollycoddler. =)

2006-09-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

waited for your reply, but nothing came in.
I can't read you, though I thought I could.

You're confusing me, and I wish you would stop.

Period.

2006-08-31T10:23:00.000+08:00

Frozen dews teared from the calignous sky; the morning embraced me with mopes and an unbalanced mind. Seems like derangement have consumed all the serenity that lies within, and nothing left, except for a pool of worthless elucidations.

Now now, isn't it intriguing? Where by dreams are the actual predictions of an opaque future?

I came to realise that the 'Dating stage' is currently this season's latest vogue. Yet, I'm unable to apprehend the exact meaning of 'Dating'. Isn't it such a contradiction? That a participant of this recent fad's unable to provide you with a proper definition.

Digressing,You know, when I was Primary 5, I used to diss this particular butch in my school and was exceptionally turned off by my sister's lesbian tendencies. I constantly reminded myself how ghastly St Joseph's Convent was, for it was a school filled with abhorrent homosexuals and told myself never to enter this heinous institution?

However, this thought kinda warped when I reached Primary 6. It all happened when I met this dickhead on IRC. He insisted that he had a crush on me, and boy was he blessed with lusciousness. However, he soon realised that I was fat and gruesome and eventually showered hostilities on me.

In addition, his friends started deriding me revilements for god knows what reason, and I guess that affected my self esteem. It was then when I started finding girls immensely alluring and started pulling myself away from the opposite sex.

Alright, I don't know what actually made me wrote that pile of nonsensical shit. But somehow, I feel that there's a part of me that's unable to let go of the hatred I have towards that bastard, and it kinda caused me to have this prejudice against guys.

I know that the future can be unpredictable, and certain things can be twisted. However, I can gladly say that I enjoy the way I am now, and be it normal or abnormal, I know I won't be changing the way I currently am.

So, fuckhead, if you're reading this entry, you can stop texting me with your numerous dinner dates and movie intentions. It's annoying the shit out of me and if my stand is too subtle for you, I shall repeat myself, in a much easier format.

I'M GAY, AND FUCKING MOVE YOUR CORRUPTED DICK AWAY FROM ME, MORON.

Okie, So here's a question for you peeps :
What do you do when both of your expectations are of a different level?
when you tried a million attempts to change a single person, but in reality, the only person who require such changes are actually yourself?

2006-08-30T18:25:00.000+08:00

Hello Plastic, I can't wait for our roadshow tomorrow! =) 400 buckaroos will be rolling into our pockets, soon, and we'll then be able to shop like there's no tomorrow, right bitch? =)

I love you to bits, pretty plastic.

p/s: I think you're the only best thing that ever happened during the Karen Millen days.

Love, <3
Plastic (as well)

2006-08-29T02:47:00.000+08:00

More photos @ flickr2

The Click and The break-up might be our future reflections.
Then again, name me a couple who doesn't have their own set of quandaries? =)
Dinner has never been that phat. (I LOVE BEEF KIMCHI!) Or maybe, it was your existances that expunged the tension within.
Baby, thank you for making these two days so enchanting.

p/s : Your efforts are totally appreciated by yours truly. =D

2006-08-26T03:26:00.000+08:00

2006-08-24T21:44:00.000+08:00

Warm yet cold.
Smiles and Sorrows.

It is amazing how u merged such differences together.

=) But I'm glad you did.

2006-08-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

Cleared my messages and such.
Like I've said, words don't hold any imprinted memories.
and,
~~Low~~ No expectations are the highest source of protection.

Just feel a need to renovate my lifestyle..

Until then.

2006-08-20T20:21:00.000+08:00

I should have went abroad, really.

I should have done so many things, and shouldn't have indulge in certain issues.

Should, and shouldn't .

See, these are the mistakes stupid people make.

2006-08-20T18:20:00.000+08:00

There's alot of things I've to say, plenty of issues for me to clear.
But, I can't seem to find the courage to do so.
I know there's a problem with me, or rather us.

I don't know.
I really don't.

2006-08-19T13:31:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I don't understand why people have to go through warped methods to prevent a person's departure? Then again, I can't say much, cause I so happen to be someone who practices that apathetic tactic. Still, what do you get by gaining back her momentary existances? She'll eventually break loose, causing you to experience greater misery than ever.

Perhaps, just perhaps you should let it go. Why inflict such torments to youself? Is it really worth it? After all, your actions were the initiation of her decision to leave..

Alright, those are just some random thoughts that I've to jolt down. Digressing, I don't understand why must my mother name me Cheryl. I think the name's immensely common and mundane.

Why couldnt she name me something more drama queenish, something like Lola, Eva, Gucci or Dior?

I wouldn't even mind Karma mehmama.

At least that sounds so much more original.
'

2006-08-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

Guess who passed her basic theory, on her first attempt (without sitting for the e-trial test conducted by Comfort driving school) ?!

HEHEHEHE.

2006-08-18T01:39:00.000+08:00

Bruised, both physically and emotionally.
But it's a good thing that I've got you.
Garfield, thank you for being my wonder wall.

So much for the term, family.

2006-08-16T02:32:00.000+08:00

Today, I did something which I personally find it quite anomalous, in a good way that is. Nonetheless, I'm glad I took the initiation to shower my garfield with utmost affection. To top it off, the responses I got stimulated lusciousness within me.

It's amazing how Baby placed me in nirvana. But that's not only that, it's the way she managed to expose my embarrassment, without the aftermath of me facing absolute humiliation, okay, maybe a little bit. Still, such comfortness has never felt so abating. As a matter of fact, the past six months have been extremely enticing, and I'm sure Baby agrees to that. =)

Digressing, I'm starting work tomorrow, and it's arousing trunks of nervousness. It's been long since I endured meticulous customers/grumps and immense enervation. But I will/shall/must persevere!

Mummy has also grant me the permission to travel around, without any parental supervision. That means I shall start saving, and go on a mini escapade with another dysfunctional family of mine.

Last but not least, I've a date with Lio this Sunday. Something I must abide to; I've been neglecting this gem since forever.

P/s : There's an alteration to our mutual agreement. No more once a week meetings, just when we have the time outings. HEH. ILOVEMYROUNDCAT.

Pp/s : Baby and I have decided to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Which means, more exercising and more days to see baby! =)

GOD, IM DAMN MUSHY LA.

2006-08-15T12:44:00.000+08:00

Rainy days are the initations of the outburst of diverse emotions.

I've a huge problem with my self esteem - which is apparently retrogressing quite badly. Alright, I know I abhor comparing myself with one's ex girlfriends, yet somehow, it seems to be an unavoidable issue.

I seriously need a remedy to help curb this habit of mine.

Any advices?

On a lighter note, just two more papers to go! Wish me luck for TPSW and my Basic Theory!

2006-08-15T01:47:00.000+08:00

Just a vicious thing called Jealousy.

2006-08-12T12:36:00.000+08:00

Have you ever gotten to the point whereby 'I Love You' is mainly a stimuli that's entering your ears?

Words don't hold imprinted meanings.

Or is it just me?

2006-08-11T22:42:00.000+08:00

Mixed feelings.

2006-08-11T10:57:00.000+08:00

Lately,

I've been crying buckets.
Paranoia seems to be teasing the shit out of me.
My sleeping hours have been totally warped.
My memory's failing on me.
Exams stress are kicking in, really badly.

I hate the exam blues. =(

2006-08-10T02:16:00.000+08:00

You're no different from the others.

No fucking differences.

2006-08-09T03:43:00.000+08:00

Don't we all love fireworks!? =)
Btw,Flickr2 has been updated.

2006-08-08T09:30:00.000+08:00

Anon : G1 vinilla Glory , shade 22 for compact =)

-

Overheard daddy saying that he's going to sell off his current Mercs and get a SLK for himself. =/

Life's so unfair!!! Sis has her own bloody mazda, Mum's going to get another car for herself, and now, a SLK? This family's bloody bias.

On a lighter note, A mth and a half till we move in to our new home!

p/s : My current house's up for sale, call me if you parents intend to purchase a new place!

2006-08-06T11:48:00.000+08:00

I shall be one of those homemakers that wear lacy aprons, cook aperitive cuisines, and complain to you that the Vegetable prices have increased by 50 cents, ok? And you shall be those doting hubby that preaches, "Honey! I'm home! And look what I bought? ROAST DUCK!", each time you return home from work, Alrighty?

Small talks and Jocular delights are indeed the foundation for a flight of sublimity.
Intellectual conversations have never been that engaging.
All in all, I thank you for bringing such boisterous mirages.

Continue being my pipe dream, will you?

E.T,aka WEN WEN
1. You have a gorgeous pair of butterfly earrings! I HEART THAT!
2. KISS SONNY!!!! HEHE.
3. PINK LA! lol.
4. THE WAY WE KISS, BABY.
5. we've a long history know ! But the one that's really imprinted in my mind was on the 25th of Jan. =) Cause that really initated the start of this awesome friendship.
6. SHEEP! AND MEOWIE!
7. When can I stay over again?
8. U'RE TO DO ONE FOR ME ! LOVE! =)

2006-08-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

terms of agreement.(Garfield)

1. we'll keep to seeing each other only once a week.
2. no PMS-ing
3.no getting grouchy
4.no bingeing
5.no purging.(or at least tell me when u're at it)
6.no mentioning of ** during our weekly meet ups. (it pisses me off sometimes, just SOMETIMES,maybe all the time)
7.FLIRT ALL U WANT WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE ( and the other party better be absolutely gorgeous n have a more fucked up face than i do )
8.tell me u miss me.
9.give me a tight squeeze when i'm frowning.
10.remember i have the key to your locket,
11.and that i'm wearing your ring on my left hand, e fourth finger.
12.i accepted the rice cake and you're all mine now.( no further bargains, the geisha's taken)
13.you keep meow-ing, it turns me on =)))
14.be nicer, more endearing, im a sucker.
15. remember to abide to all of the above and i'll be yours to ditch =)

terms of agreement by MEI NU!!!
1. Flirt all you wish, but, make sure the girl's no where hotter than me.
2. Stop showing your stupid pompous fuck face, it sends the wrong type of perceptions.
3. Wear your specs more often; it makes you look really alluring.
4. Make sure you supply me with your daily dosage of smses. It drives me nuts when you decide to switch on the ignoration mood of yours.
5. Stop charming me with that pair of sickening eyeballs.
6. I love it when you're being utterly silly, so continue portraying yourself in that manner.
7. MORE HUGS NEEDED. =) They are my source of security
8. Stop smoking, without losing your temper at me.
9. You can't leave me cause you accepted the ring I gave you!
10. In other words, Only I'm obliged to ditch you! Bleah
11.Starting blogging, Please? At least it updates me about your lifestyle.
12. Apologise when you're really at fault.
13. J'adore the way you hold my hand. So continue doing that, alright?
14. Stop calling me mean terms, because only I'm entitled to do that! Then again, it's okie if you do it occasionally.
15. Lastly, quit bugging me to study. VERY NAGGY YOU KNOW!

things you do when you're bored on a sat evening, at starbucks ( compass point )
I heart you, stupid fat orange cat. =)))

2006-08-05T01:44:00.000+08:00

Decided to reveal the elephantine amount of make up I normally use to get that uhhh, "not so obvious" coverage.

Foundation's true match by Loreal Paris.
Compact Powder's by Maybelline
Blusher,bronzer and brilliant powder are from The Body Shop.
mascara's by Loreal Paris, again. ( TRY IT, IT'S FUCKING GOOD!)
Eyeliner(Pencil)'s by In2It
Liquid Eyeliner's by Loreal Paris
Eye shadow from Sasa.

Digressing, seems like there's a major outburst of PMS-ers these days. It doesn't help when your date happens to be those that are going through a series of abrupt moodswings, which unknowingly, lead to ghastly neglections and awful remarks.

I haven't been studying as well and exams are merely 2 days from now.

OH WELL, I shall just hide in a mountain and wait for my prince charming to save me from some sexually deprived cavemen.

2006-08-04T12:12:00.000+08:00

Lurid incubuses decided to pay a visit last night, and decided to bestow an aftermath of insecurities and perplexities.

I wonder why I even allowed myself indulge in attachments. Sometimes, I’m really envious of Hui wen’s and Cheryl Lio’s resistances.

-

LIO LIO
1. You don't really like butterflies! heh. AND, you love converse sneakers!
2. You're excessively adventurous, but nonetheless, I challenge you to go out on a date with me!
3. Needless to say, Brown. =)
4. Huh, one thing's not enough. I like the way you act silly, the way we quarrel/patch things up so quickly, the way we snap alot of pictures, the way we say,"HEY! I LOVE THAT!", the way we squeal at stupid stuff, the way we club, yadda yadda.
5. All thanks to the comment you wrote on Alicia's blog! yay. =)
6. BAMBI!
7. When are we dating?
8. I LOVE CHEW.

Julian SEAH
1. You have a black beanie!
2. Get over it, if not, do something about it! ( Ask me if you're clueless about 'it')
3. BAI colour.
4. You're my PUSSY LAO SHI.
5. YOU SCOLDED ME STUPID ON YOUR BLOG! ( Cause I didn't do well for my Os )
6. A big round teddy bear
7. When are you going to do something about it?
8. DO ONE FOR ME ALSO!

2006-08-02T10:48:00.000+08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/69527927@N00/

Cheryl/Aaronn.

1. You like wearing vintage graphic tees!

2. Grow back your long black hair.

3. Blue, no Red, no Blue.

4. Your vocab's whooo.

5. The first time I met you at MOS Burger(Taka), you were Candice's girlfriend then. =p

6. A prawn.

7. I've nothing to ask you, yet.

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours, which you've done so anyway.

Thumpers was quite monotonous.The crowd was pretty mundane as well. Exams start in five days time. =( However, I've not exactly started studying, how now?

2006-07-31T16:05:00.000+08:00

81 @ kovan, Windstruck, Double Cheese burger set meal, heinous bites, etc.
You know I can never get enough of you. =)

p/s : Mama Lim keeps insisting that you're very pretty. LOL. =)

2006-07-30T01:42:00.000+08:00

xiangling says:
sonny bring u to watch ok
neglected says:
nods! PROMISE OKIE.
neglected says:
=D
neglected says:
so exciting

YAY! I'm going to watch the fireworks display on the 9th! Wen wen, u're invited too! =D

-

I was reading Sarah Hoe's blog : Http://www.skye16.blogspot.com, and it kinda made me green.

I don't know how to describe the feeling I'm having right now, but I think words like, trepidations, uneasiness, chagrin and eventual boredom(not from me) are able to summarize this volatile emotion.

As Kel mentioned, Bungs hate it when girls ( not as if they aren't ) get paranoid, especially when they just ended work.
BUT, can't they get it? It's their job to help ease this monthly warped thinkings.

HAIYAH, I JUST NEED A JOB TO DIVERT MY ATTENTION.

Then it'll be my turn to say, "HELLO, CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND, MY JOB'S EXTREMELY TEDIOUS! I'M TOO ENEVERATED TO EVEN TAKE OUT MY PHONE AND SMS YOU!"

hohoho. =/

2006-07-29T12:41:00.000+08:00

I love Wen Wen!

You know you can never get enough of these people. =)

2006-07-23T15:53:00.000+08:00

Litcentious yet respectful; Lusciousness topped with fiery spices.
Recklessly canny; Eccentically twisted, but exceptionally agitative.

Allaying movements sashayed on thy naked skin - J'adore to that.

It's amazing how such naiveness evolved into such subtleness.

Genevieve ~~Garfield~~ Seah, ich liebe dich. (Go figure )

2006-07-21T05:47:00.000+08:00

Alright, shoot was awesome today. Did a total of 5 scenes! YAY.

3 Nights, one more Day to go - thankfully, the last shoot's going to be on the 29th! wooohooo.

2006-07-20T13:57:00.000+08:00

ACTING ISN'T FUN ANYMORE.

FUCKING SHIT.

2006-07-16T15:56:00.000+08:00

When two become one. =)

2006-07-15T03:11:00.000+08:00

Call you back is another saying for fuck off bitch, I'm busy.

Distances - Perhaps, that's the only way to stop being oh so clingy.

2006-07-14T14:52:00.000+08:00

Today's emo day.

My eyes are scarlet, and my heart feels a thousand pounds heavier.

Sometimes, I rather have nothing than something that's only there on a momentary basis.

I hate to admit this, but I'm feeling quite sick and tired of the things around me.

It pangs even more when you know certain affections would never be reciproical.

I guess imprinted memories can never, ever be expunged.

2006-07-14T05:15:00.000+08:00

Femme quest was coolness!

Mind's clouded with confusions. Perhaps, just perhaps, fate's grooming me to become THE ULTIMATE LOSER.

consternations are deadly, same goes for assumptions.

I hate it when inferiority bites my back.

Such abhorrences ... =(

2006-07-13T02:59:00.000+08:00

Card Captor Sakura Fans, you'll appreicate this, lol.

2006-07-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

I'M JUST SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW, I FEEL LIKE PLANTING A BOMB IN BANGKOK!

2006-07-11T23:24:00.000+08:00

Today, I've finally tasted the finest of pure satisfaction. =) Honestly, I never knew that the fruit of my labour can actually be so saccharine, till now.

Nonetheless, 3 projects down, and three more to go! YAY.

No calls or whatsoever from momoren today. Oh well, no biggie.

I'm starting to like school!

2006-07-11T01:53:00.000+08:00

Listening to Cai,Jolin's Tian Kong on my iTunes reminds me of a certain person. Then again, that's not the only song that initiated these reminiscences. As a matter of fact, about 3/4 of my songs kind of elicited those retrospects, or rather, KTV retrospects. =))

Just as Bf said, I'm currently going through the so called,"love sick process." Come to think of it, it's actually quite freaky. I mean, it's barely even a day since whoever departed; So much for the dispersing harsh ostentions and pompousness.

Projects are affecting my daily dosage of sleep, and it's pissing the shit out of me.

To worsen the situation, my euphoria pill isn't with me (although she just called)

Blah, let's pray that Thailand gets consumed by a huge tsunami.

3 more days, I'll SURVIVE LOR, oh yes I can.

2006-07-09T15:32:00.000+08:00

Velvet sand topped with the caliginous sky;
Rhythms of crashing waves and fitful tides.
Sultry palpations sparked by bolliexed intentions;
A clandestinity coated with utmost prefection.

Garfield's love. =)

2006-07-07T21:30:00.000+08:00

Say hello to the next ~~Self proclaimed~~ Jeanette Aw!

Cause, I've passed the mediacorp auditions!!! HAHAHAHAHA.

2006-07-01T17:31:00.000+08:00

KTV at The One was a blast, no kidding!!

Ps: I sang, for the 1st time.

More photos @ flickr ( Click on Blueprints under the Links section. )

2006-06-29T23:19:00.000+08:00

Shopping with Flora dearest. =)

2006-06-29T02:58:00.000+08:00

Dinner at Billy Bombers, companied by a few love ones ( not shown in picture though ) = FUCKING SHIOK SIA.

2006-06-26T14:20:00.000+08:00

I haven't been attending school, and I seriously reckon I'll have to repeat my entire set of modules and kiss my VW beetle good bye.

Oh well, just as Gen said, It's turning into a vicious habit, and it seems like I won't be able to break it, after all.

I need a job, like so badly. 'Cause no job simply means no income. How to go shopping like that? =(

UGH. I'm very grumpy today. And I mean, GRUMPY.

Projects are starting the scare the shit out of my anus.

Did I mention that I'm very grumpy today?

$#)($)%$)%$(%)$(%

2006-06-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

Punggol Jetty

I'm blown away when I look at you
While you look at me
'Cause you see me so completely
I'm overwhelmed by the way it feels
'Cause I know it's real
When you reach out to touch me
You consume me, you know I can't resist
And you move me, with the power of a little kiss

-Chris Cagle, Ton of Love

*Click on pic to enlarge

2006-06-24T14:38:00.000+08:00

Audition was hilarious. I had to try out for two different roles. One was to act as this hysterical-gone-overly siao girl called Sara, who has just lost her sister due to some chemicial explosion or something. The other was some broadcaster reporting about the heinous situation.

Nonetheless, I hate compeititons. And it's not really appealing to know that there are about 4457 gorgeous people vying for that apathetic 5 minutes role on television.

I'm contemplating whether should I remove my tongue stud; it is affecting my articulation, quite drastically in fact.

post note : My tongue isn't very long to being with anyway.

I think I should sign up for speech and drama. Or perhaps, some money sucking course which helps to stimulate your confidences. =(

I want to be the next jeanette aw, like so badly. GAH.

See, this is why I'll never make it big in life.

2006-06-24T01:05:00.000+08:00

Video on youtube :
A very irritated Xiao Bai

Typical, hardly the type although
I like him physical, dont leave me askin for more
Im a sexy mama
Who knows just how to get what I wanna
What i wanna do is bring this on ya
That backup the things that I told ya
You been sayin all the right things all along
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off.

10 mins sketch - This is what you do on a raw Saturday morning.

Auditions @ Mediacorp tomorrow. I'm getting cold feet now. =( Oh well, I might just not turn up for it anyway.

I'm such a bummer, and bummers aren't supposed to be models.

And to add salt to the wound, MY FUCKING RIGHT WISDOM TOOTH'S GROWING TOO. DOUBLE TONG TONG LAH.