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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Moved to LJ.

http://jadedlassie.livejournal.com

However, a handful of entries are for friends only.
musical carousels 6:35 PM

Moved to LJ.

http://jadedlassie.livejournal.com

However, a handful of entries are for friends only.
musical carousels 6:35 PM
Thursday, December 28, 2006

The sky looks like a collage made of slate - dreary, bleak and murky. Where as the additional rain droplets deputized for my teardrops. Somehow, my blog's clogged with sorrowful entires, and its seems to be progressing at an unceasing pace. Hah.



Now now, where's my pink sprinkled umbrella to shelter me from the prolonged thunder storm?
musical carousels 12:31 PM

TIme now's 1.18 am, and as usual, it's a long way 'til my bedtime. CSI's on channel 5 right now and I'm lovin' the smell that's currently produced by my aroma therapy lamp - The invigorating scene of fresh cranberries.

Handphone has been quiet for the past 13 hours, and clock's still ticking.

I need a job, a job to kill time and to accessorize my macbook

This entry's rubbish. I'm just so tired from missing someone, yet, so enraged by her ignoration.

All I merely wanted was something nice. Something to make me feel loved.

I guess thats one difference between tauruses and geminis; Endearments are our daily essentials, where as, arbitrary expressions are tauruses' best friends - no more, no less.

Reckon I'll shift to LJ soon, its so much better to have to ablity to lock most entries, but can only be read by my adored ones.
musical carousels 1:19 AM
Wednesday, December 27, 2006

This morning, I woke up with the anticipation of receiving a buguiling sms, in exchange for my heartfelt thoughts. However, to my dismay, nothing came in. I reckon that somehow instilled a whole bunch of denseness and it undoubtly, effaced my self-insured significances( to her), which ergo, generated a frigid attitude in my replies.

Nonetheless, what candidly disturbed me most wasn't the fact that I was obtaining nonchalances from her. Instead, I was merely wounded by the truth that her impression of me has totally changed.

To her, I'm now known as the spoilt damsel, who has the tendencies of throwing abrupt tantrums.

I don't know. I guess, I'm just someone who expects too much. And, as mentioned before, expectations are silent killers, who will stain relationships. Yet, a message from K somehow instilled a large quantity of self awareness. She said, "The easiest thing to do, is to not have expectations of her. Cos when she fails to meet them, you're gonna feel disapointed and start throwing tantrums. Try to love without asking questions, if not, don't love at all."

How true. Maybe the once perfect Xue used to be a person who carrys no form of demands.

In conclusion, I abhor what I'm seeing in the mirror right now. Maybe my mum's right, I'm better off dead. I'm just so tired of the changes that are taking place in my life right now. My family finds me unsightly and I guess, all I wanted was to maintain my perfections which gen once beholded.
musical carousels 8:23 PM

"for xue, u seemed to have warmed this cold heart of mine,u seemed to have made me realise that it's worthless to hold on to anything. not even 10 percent. and strangely, u're the first person i did this willingly for. and this alone is sending a paranoia throughout my brain cells.u egged me on, u made me do wad i always thought was unthinkable. and i'd only silently hope and pray that u meant all u said. i hope u left her behind with all ur unhappiness aside too. i hope u stay this way, perfect and flawless in my eyes, i hope u are the one that often appears in my dreams. for wad i see now is the present , the future and from this day on i live my life this way, i will never look back on yesterday."

That, saturated my eyes with tears.

"WHEE. outing with bimbo was absolutely hilarious . left me in a really retardified state. movie sucked ler, left that silly screaming her lungs out and me, giggling over her reactions. imagine smiling at your computer at 2 in the morning or smiling at your ceiling. good thing no one caught me at it, except maybe russell. =)
ok ler, im in a euphoric state now. BASKET. if you're snooping HERE den it's all your darn fault lerh. SEE. WE FELL FLAT ON THE FLOOR RIGHT AT THE TICKETING BOOTH.
TSK.see the price i had to pay for my own mischief. =)
=) =) =) =) =) =)"

And this, just reminded me of the doltish, yet amorous times we spent, together.

Sometimes, such entries never fail to warm one's heart with security and ardent emotions. However, it tends to refresh one's mind, and evokes pangs of conscience. I don't know what made me cry when I read those previous indites. I guess, its been a long time since I've felt such deep-rooted sincerity. See, when a couple's together for a long period of time, they tend to forget several issues, and this issues are often related to the elimination of the condour of one's heart; Quarrels and Disputes tend to scratch off the sparks that actually initiated the beginning of the relationship.

I miss the times when love was at it purest form, when it's fully free from adulteration.

No, I'm not complaining or anything close to that. As a matter of fact, I reckon i've only myself to blame. I'm indignant. Angry with myself for forgetting the jollifications I once had with Gen.

I'm shamed. Abashed with the fact that I'm no longer able to uphold my image Gen once had on me.

Last but not least, I'm disgusted, for allowing the changes to warp the oh-so-perfect-xue she once knew.

=(
musical carousels 1:52 AM
Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I've been reading quite a few blogs for the past hour, and I must say that I'm glad to see my friends, and surprisingly, foes being so rapturous this x'mas.

Well, all apart from Lio.

Sometimes, I can't help wondering why this particular best friend of mine's always getting herself entangled in such deep, pensive and everlasting despondency. It pangs seeing her attempting to embrace herself, despite the approaching throbs she's getting from Nic Chua.

Alright, maybe I'm not fully aware about the hows and whys that's happening inbetween Lio's relationship with Nic. Nonetheless, as mentioned last christmas, you can't expect me to sit down here and just be a mere spectator? Lio's my best friend, and I hope she will deserve the utmost respect, and not be pushed away like some ailing bitch?

Nic, it's self reflection time.
musical carousels 11:47 AM
Monday, December 25, 2006

My whole body's aching from the bad fall, and I'm no fuckin' kidding.
I've again, had a tearful x'mas evening.

And so much for regular comments to every blog entries.
Promises are facades.
So much for a jovial x'mas
musical carousels 9:25 PM





X'mas 's simply the best when its spent with your prized possessions.
Garfield, Wen,Mindy,Xiangling, Much love =)

Next up, it's camping time for the new year's eve y'all !!
musical carousels 3:42 PM
Wednesday, December 20, 2006













Days with the Garfield has never been so phat. I ♥ you baby, more than anything in the world ( Well, maybe not as much as the ikea biscuits! hehe. )
musical carousels 10:11 PM
Monday, December 18, 2006

I'm getting overly paranoic about the expansion in my weight. =(

Digressing, these days have been extremely pristine. Why so? Well, let's just say that Garfield has found a new accommodation for herself. =)

Am finally done with my 3k words graduation essay and boy oh boy, I'm finally feeling utterly relief. Seems like that additional pressure has finally been released! Yay.

Realised that time's passing real quickly. Baby and I will be a year old on the 25th, next year. However, it seems like those Karen Millen days were just yesterday, right garfield?

Christmas's approaching, yet it looks like the agenda's not being planned yet. How dismaying.

In addition, my two best friends decided to leave me all alone for the next few days. Rah.

I'm going to drown myself in food, indulge in mcfly and my chemical romance and just rot my way till its time for the new year celebration.

ps : Garfield's happily in dreamland right now, leaving me all forsaken and abandoned. ROARS.
musical carousels 10:47 PM
Thursday, December 14, 2006

notice how Im blogging so much these days?

It's indeed a subtle invitation for cajoling tags.

But I doubt I'm having any from now on.

Daddy asked, "Isn't $_#)$)_$ enough already?" , and that made me dumbfounded.

I guess no amount of pines and tears will help this time. I feel stupid.

Stupid for even attempting to call.
musical carousels 4:26 PM

Sometimes, walking in the rain helps clear one's quandaries and transient injuries.
I realised that there's something hysterical about myself, something that its undeniable perturbing.
Truth is, I'm always indulging far too much into a relationship. And no matter how much I drown myself in placidity, it'll never seem to take any effect on me.

Maybe, I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall twice, again? But how can it be done when I've already fallen six feet under?

Cheryl, haven't you went through this before? When will you ever learn? Haven't you heard, once bitten, twice shy?

Obsession's sucha deadly thing.
Now, how do you start getting out from it?

Where's my fucking backbone.

I don't know ,my whole mind's just filled with paradoxes. You've no idea how hard's it for me to acknowledge the fact that our differences are too drastically different. Yes, I'm living in rebuttal and my puerile actions are gruesome.

Alright, you've just called , and I'm amazed that I've the ability to be so composed and to conceal my weepings. I'm as tired as you are, but there's still something that's pinning me down, preventing my departure. Honestly, I wish I can be so nonchalant like you. Perhaps, its because your feelings aren't as intensed as mine, or maybe, you've already became a part of me? I'm perplexed, clueless, baffled...

Then again, if it wasn't because of my tantrums, you wouldn't have flared up. However, like I've said, things feel queer withour you around.

Congrats Gen. You've successfully turned me into an insane girlfriend, who has no whatsoever control over my emotions. I'm a freak, a freak who can't even identify my own behavior.


Seriously, I've no idea where am I supposed to go from here? Would it really be better if I just cease all movements? How do you handle such situations, when your head's telling you to stop, but your heart's telling you the total opposite?

Differences can be compromised, or at least that was what I used to rely on.

I hate myself so much, and I guess self infliction's always the best option to resolve all bitterness.
Now, I feel like che.
Oh well, Cheryl Lim, Welcome to the black parade.
musical carousels 1:42 PM
Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I hate anticipating for ah bee to end her shift at bombers. =(
If this's going to last for the next 3 months. I rather not go Thailand anymore!!!
musical carousels 9:36 PM

I KNOW I HAVE TO SAVE UP FOR MY THAILAND TRIP WITH AH BEE.

BUT, THE BROWN/ORANGE CAP FROM ADIDAS' LOVE.

=(

MONEY MONEY, WHY MUST YOU BE SO FUNNY.
musical carousels 8:12 PM

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